March 16 Emails:
From: Me
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 9:50 AM
To: G
Subject: Sample budget
(proposed budget table)
From: G
Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 11:31 PM
To: Me
Subject: RE: Sample budget
I told you I didn’t want to go over anything for 2 weeks; that I needed to think about what I want to achieve without feeling like I am just reacting to you. At the moment we have different goals and agendas. Since you have taken your funds from our mutual account you are responsible for at least half of our bills. That being the case you need to write me a check for half of the insurance $154/2=$77 plus your student loan payment of $50 and $25 for your prescription. Then add $35 for the overdraft fee because I couldn’t cover the insurance by myself. That amounts to $187. I’d also like for you to pay half of this weeks child care. That would be an additional $105 for a total of $292. I’d like that check today as it has already come out of my funds. Since we are still negotiating the student loans, it would be acceptable for you to agree that you owe me the $105 if we don’t split responsibility for the student loan funds that went to joint bills or not at all if the responsibility for those funds do get split, and pay only the $187 for now. I will discuss the rest of our budget with you after these immediate concerns are addressed.
GB
From: Me
Subject: RE: Sample budget
To: G
Date: Thursday, March 17, 2011, 2:48 PM
I sent this budget to you yesterday before you asked me not to go over anything with you. Sorry, I cannot change things that happened in the past. As for the insurance, I had Doug take it off auto pay so we do not run into this issue again. I will also be changing my Student Loan payment to stop coming out of that account as well. I have canceled auto pay with Walgreens. As for the money I owe you; you are half responsible for the overdraft fee. Also, if I am paying for ½ of the daycare this week then you owe for ½ of the daycare I prepaid for the next two weeks. The account only had a credit of $4 this morning so I had to pay for today as well. Please see the accounting below.
(accounting spreadsheet)
From: G
Sent: Thursday, March 17, 2011 7:30 PM
To: Me
Subject: RE: Sample budget
It's really a bummer that your not communicating with me. SRP is due to be turned off on the 21st. My money is already accounted for. So I will not be paying any part of it. I had not planned on putting the kids in daycare next week and told you this was their last week that I could pay for. since you did not honor that I see no reason to pay for half of the day care. I could have easily watched the kids without them having to go so that is your expense as you decided on it on your own. You therefore still owe me the funds previously discussed. you can apply them to my share of SRP and Verizon. Part of the money owed to SRP is a $250 deposit. Because you will likely be living here longer than I, you are responsible for the deposit unless you are willing to apply my part of the deposit to the bill when I move out.
From: Me
Subject: RE: Sample budget
To: G
Date: Friday, March 18, 2011, 10:12 AM
I am confused. You don’t want to discuss things with me but now I am not communicating. You didn’t want to discuss our budget and how we were going to pay things so I had to figure out how I was paying for things. I do want to remind you that you are still responsible for half of the bills. Please let me know if you want to discuss this soon (not in front of the children – after they are asleep) or if you still want to wait a few weeks. Until we work out a resolution I will continue to make decisions in the best interest of the kids.
From: G
Sent: Friday, March 18, 2011 12:00 PM
To: Me
Subject: RE: Sample budget
we had already discussed the child care before you first asked me for a divorce. I told you I could no longer afford it, that this week(ending 3/12) was going to be their last week and that I would go back to watching them. I don't want to discuss the terms of our divorce. I didn't want to discuss our budget yet but I guess we have too. Open communication would be double checking that I could a, afford more child care (which I already said I could not), and b, say hey is there anything that has to be paid right now before I send my entire pay check. Had you asked, or had you read the mail on the dining room table, you would know that SRP needed to be paid and how much and you would know that the HOA is threatening collections and foreclosure. I am sorry that you made some uninformed decisions and have consequently put us in a pickle. Unfortunately, I do not think I am in a position to save our collective butts. I am aware I have some responsibilities and will address them as I can. AS for the Overdraft fee. You owe the $35. I had $100I could have deposited with the money you owed for insurance, your student loan, and prescription. Even if you had given me just the money for the last 2 items I could have covered the payment and prevented the overdraft. Instead you elected not to pay knowing that our account would overdraft. That was your decision and you need to accept the consequences. As for Verizon, I will move my phone to my own plan as soon as the bill is current. It is my opinion that it will remain cheaper for us to keep the same plan but I will honor your request.
Email March 25:
From: Me
To: G
We need to figure out a budget of paying bills and how we are splitting them. Also, when I said I wasn't going to ask for half the daycare costs that was based off you paying child support. Until support is set I DO need to split the costs with you. I had sent a budget before and you didn't like it. Please tell me what budget you have in mind.
From: G
Sent: Friday, March 25, 2011 2:05 PM
To: Me
Subject: Re: bills
I told you I was available to watch the kids, making child care unnecessary. I will not pay for ANY part of child care while it remains that way. AS for the bills I have records of everything I have split with you except the receipt for the groceries you bought ( for which I paid half). If you want to break everything down to the penny you will have a hard time discounting that I am paying my portion. I will be paying he other half of our mortgage today. I expect you to pay your half for as long as you live here. If you do not you will be jeopardizing my ability to refinance the house in my name, re-leaving you from any responsibilities or repercussions if the house is foreclosed on or otherwise. Look up FHA streamline re-fi's and you will see that there are no qualifications other than lowering the payment by 5% and no late payments for the last 12 months on your credit. Our divorce has to be final with you off the dee before I can refi. I can quick claim you off the deed as soon as we get the final paperwork. That takes 2-3 weeks. Until I have all this done I need you to continue to pay your part of the mortgage. If you do not I will have to move forward as if you are deliberately undermining my ability to meet our obligation and keep the house.
As for child support, we both have custody and I have the kids a majority of the time and you make more than I do. That leaves you with a greater portion of the responsibility. You will also have to pay a greater percentage of all our bills to account for that.
I would rather find a way to co-exist without resorting to antagonistic emails and remarks.
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