Canceling on the Kids

Jan 28 1:45pm G: I am sorry for the late notice. I don't think I can take the kids this week.
Jan 28 1:57pm Me: What's going on?
Jan 28 2:06pm G: Sorry for the last minute adjustment. if anything changes I'll let you know. I may be able to take them later in the week but I don't know yet.

:(

T's sick

So after last weeks fiasco I can't believe I am writing this now. G told me T and S had a temp on Wednesday. That night neither had a temp but S was up all night complaining of an ear ache. Thursday I took her to the doc and she was diagnosed with an ear infection. But I kept both kids home. While they weren't 100% themselves they had been fever free so on Friday I sent them to daycare. I was called Friday afternoon and told T had a temp on 101.5. By the time I got him home it was 102.5. I gave him some ibuprophin and he stayed on the couch all night until bedtime and then went to bed. Saturday and Sunday he had no fever but he was slighly clingy and fussy. He also didn't want to eat. Each day he barely ate anything. Otherwise he was ok/ Did play, talk, and otherwise seemed ok. Just "slighly" off. Then last night he was up every 45 minutes. Come 3am he spiked a fever again. OK, now I am worried. I couldn't sleep as I laid in bed worrying about him. I was mostly worried about the fact that he sustained a bad head injury last weekend and could this be due to that? So I did the thing you should never do: I got up and looked up things on the internet. Didn't find anything that would lead me to believe it is from hitting his head but instead read all the things that are WRONG with an intermittent fever. EEK! So for peace of mind I want him to see a doc today. Enter the ex...

Well, I guess it all started last night...
Jan 22 4:27pm G: are you bringing the kids over in the morning or am I getting them from daycare tomorrow?
Jan 22 5:16pm Me: whatever you want.
(since T hadn't had a fever since Friday and had only been clingy I figured he would be ok at daycare)
Jan 22 5:17pm G: I'll get them from daycare then.
Jan 22 5:17pm Me: I thought I was taking them to your house which is what the calander says. But I can take them to daycare.
Jan 22 5:19pm G: daycare works better for me.
Jan 22 5:31pm Me: have you figured out where and when you are moving yet?
Jan 22 5:32pm G: I will let you know when I do.

Jan 22 9:17pm Me: So on Friday I had to pick T up from daycare cuz he had a temp of 101.5. He hasn't had a temp all weekend but wasnt really himself either. This afternoon he was acting better so I thought he would be ok for daycare. But tonight he has been up every 30-45 minutes. I don't think he should go to daycare tomorrow.
Jan 22 9:21pm G: ok. Bring them both over in the morning.

Jan 23 5:59am Me: On the way

When we got to G's house he was grumpy and in a hurry. I was going to talk to him about T's fever during the night and ask him to take him to the doc. I even had $20 to give him for the appointment. Well, when we got there G seemed grumpy and in a rush to get the kids in and me out. I got as far as handing him the insurance info and $20 and he asked what it was for. I told him it was to take TJ to the doc. I didn't get to explain, he didn't ask me to leave then but I FELT shooed away.

Jan 23 6:55am Me: I will go ahead and make T's doc appt so I can relay all the symptoms that have me worried since you haven't been around him to know. What time works best for you?
Jan 23 7:14am G: I don't think he needs a doc. Plus S just got over this crap. I am not taking her around sick kids. You can come get T if you want to take him in.
(GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR)
Jan 23 8:11am Me: I thought you WANTED him to see a doc? So you could ask about a cough he has supposedly had for 4 months and the fact they "keep getting sick".
Jan 23 8:13am G: I know why they keep getting sick all the time, they are at daycare. I will take him but you have to watch S or you can take him and I will watch S. She just got better. I dont want to risk her getting sick again.
Jan 23 8:15am Me: Just ask to go to a room as soon as you get there and not wait in the waiting room. I am waiting for a call back from the doc office.
Jan 23 8:16am G: If you set an an appt you are taking him.
Jan 23 8:24am Me: I will be taking T to the doc this afternoon. Appt @ 3 so I will be there at 230.

*Update:
Picked T up and took him to the doc. He has Reactive Airway Disease (RAD) and requires steriods and round the clock breathing treatments. Plus is on an antibiotic for an ear infection.

Due to the breathing treatments he wont be able to go to daycare all week. So I asked George if he could keep the kids this week since he isn't working and constantly wants to be there daycare. He said he had "plans" but would check into canceling them. *eyeroll*

Jan 23 4:25pm G: I can't cancel my plans. You'll have to figure out wed thursday and friday. Sorry. Had I known sooner I would have been able to help.
Jan 23 5:35pm Me: I can't believe you. There is nothing that comes before my kids for me. Everything I do is for them. 100% of my money is for them. If I didn't HAVE to work I would be home with T. There is nothing that would come before that. I left work early today. Cxled my plans for tonight. All for him. Whatever your "obligations" are, they aren't enough. That is the difference between you and me. My kids are first no matter what else is going on in my life. And that is why you will NEVER have my respect!
Jan 23 5:45pm G: I don't need or want your respect. We got a divorce. The only thing I will ever "need" from you is your commitment to be civil in front of the kids.

(let me interject that when I dropped T off I went into the house. Talked, explained the meds and played nice in front of the kids. I can't believe he felt the need to say this because this is what I have said all along as he would scream at me and terrify the kids. Mainly S. I will never forget the day he was in my face screaming at me while holding her and she looked at me with tears streaming down her face and said to me "Mommy, I'm scared." He pisses me off.)

Jan 23 5:55pm G: this is what I can do. I will watch the kids til Friday and get caught up on child support if you let me claim S on taxes. I will pay my entire federal refund up to what you's be owed thru march 2012. Your choice, get paid three thousand dollars and I watch the kids or you watch the kids and get nada until I get a job.

(1) Bartering your kids again. You will watch them if I sign off on you claiming taxes??? Prick! 2) You OWE for YEARS of back taxes!! You Aint getting SHIT!! Yes, you only owe state taxes but the federal gov will send your refund to state because you owe state taxes!! I wouldn't see a penny!! 3) I am starting to work on the process to put a levy? lein? whatever it is on your money. Any taxes you are owed will come to me for back support. You win the lotto? I get my money first. Any money you get from ANYWHERE will come to ME!!!!!!!! (becasue I rock the Casbah))

Jan 23 5:57pm Me: No. Again, you are all about the money.
Jan 23 6:04pm G: I am completely broke. I am so broke that I almost had to cancel having the kids. I had a garage sale and barely made enough to keep the water and electricity on. I can't sit around because in a month I have to move and I don't have any cash. It's my own fault. However, I see a way for us to help eachother out. If you think it's all about money, your right, becasue i don't have the resources to keep from becoming homeless in a month or so.  (So how does him watching T have anything to do with this?)
Jan 23 6:05pm Me: Im sorry. No.
Jan 23 6:13pm G: not asking you to be sorry. Just asking you to make a deal that benefits us both in the long run. I can't watch the kids because I have to spend those days making money. You asked me to help so you would be able to make money and keep your vacation time at work when I need that time to make enough just to keep the power and water on. Thanks anyway.
(He misunderstood my sorry. It was a pity sorry not my genuinlly feeling bad for him. He quit his job. He made his bed. Even the divorce - I said I would stay and try to work on things if he would just QUIT SPENDING MONEY and he said no. Now he wated his money on TVs and games and such and quit his job and I am supposed to feel sorry for him. I don't think so.)

The Ford

So I explained about the Ford Escape while talking about my BK. There have been several times he has called and asked for the title. A few weeks ago during one such call I finally told him that his non-payment on the Wells Fargo card helped lead me to have to file and as such I still have the right to take the car. (all confirmed by BOTH of my lawyers) He said I would ahve to sue him to get the car from him as he isn't planning on giving it up. Again, this shows his lack of thinking. I am not taking him to court to get posession of the car. I am just going to repo it. I have people tailing him and trying to get it. Have been since November like I said. We may have to resort ot some drastic tailing soon. But the last thing I am going to do is spend more $$$ that I don't have and take him to court. If he thinks I have no right to the car he can take me to court after I take the car!!!

So last night was the most recent call. He asked if he could come by and get the title. I told him no. (Besides he is NOT allowed at my house per me!!!) He asked what my plan was since I haven't taken him to court. I just told him I had to go because I was busy. He is a dumbass if he hasn't figured out I have repo men after him. Especailly since a tow truck followed him all the way to Mesa one day. (and still couldn't get the car)

Sick kids

Jan 14 8:09pm Me: Both kids are getting sick. Just want to warn you so you can get Tylenol/Motrin if you don’t already have some.  Also to set up the humidifier in their room. So far it is just cough and runny noses.

Jan 14 9:54pm G: thanks for the heads up. I have plenty of meds. I have been looking around and I can’t seem to find either of the humidifiers. Did you take the one I bought with you?

Jan 15 11:25am Me: I took the green frog one. I left the square white and blue one.

Jan 15 1:32pm G: Not sure where you left it then… I am sure it’s not at my house.

Jan 15 1:34pm Me: It was left on the floor in Ts room when we moved out. Don’t know what you did with it since last may.

Jan 15 1:45pm G: I remember being irritated that you took it when you moved since I had just bought it. Maybe one of your helpers grabbed it…? It really don’t change that I get sick kids, again. Has the doctor said anything about Ts cough that never seems to go away? Or that S and T are always suffering from some sort of ailment?

Jan 15 1:51pm Me: I haven’t taken them to a doc but you can take them tomorrow. I haven’t experienced T having a cough any other time than now. And I deal with sick kids too. Its called parenting. And it is cold and flu season so it is to be expected.

Jan 15 1:53pm Me: and I did a walk through after everyone left and the humidifier was in Ts room on the floor.

Jan 15 2:02pm G: as I said the humidifier doesn’t matter. I am getting pretty frustrated with the kids being sick for the last 4 months. I have caught more than a few bugs from them. Every time I drop the kids off or pick them up at least 2 kids in T’s class have snot all down their faces. T has had a cough for MONTHS, since august. Seeing them so little I guess I notice it more. If you want to pay the copays and provide an insurance card, Ill take them in. What time should I expect you tomorrow?

Jan 15 2:04pm Me: I will drop them off at the normal time. And I pay for enough and you don’t pay for nearly enough. So far I don’t see a need for a doc so if you want them to go you can take them and pay. If you don’t have the money GET A JOB

Jan 15 2:05pm G: ok see you at 6:30

Jan 15 2:08pm G: keep in mind that I have offered many times to watch the kids while you are at work. You opted for daycare and the extra expense yourself, so that is on you.

**I took S into the doc today. She has an ear infection. I will be sending him a copy of the receipt soon to add to the other $65 in unpaid medical bills he owes for.

The job, the move and his lack of...

Date: Mon, 2 Jan 2012 09:08:05 -0700

Subject: This weekend

From: Me

To: G

I am trying to figure out next weekend for drop offs and pick ups. Am I dropping the kids off at your house on Friday? Or school? Are you dropping them off at school on Monday? Please let me know what your plans/expectations are. And here is the form...

**I gave him a form for his mom to get a friends and family discount while she was in town

On Tue, Jan 3, 2012 at 11:49 AM, G wrote:

Thank you for the form.  You can bring the kids over Friday morning or I can pick them up.  I have no preference.  I will bring them back to you Monday afternoon.  Will that work for you?

Date: Tue, 3 Jan 2012 13:05:04 -0700

Subject: Re: This weekend

From: Me

To: G

OK, I will drop them off Friday morning and we can meet at QT on Monday. I would like to set up the next months schedule. Do you have a job yet? Are there certain days you would prefer over others?

From G

Jan 3

To: me

I am still hunting for a job.  I would like to have the kids for Monday's and Tuesday's or Thursday's and Friday's for this month

On Wed, Jan 4, 2012 at 12:31 PM, G wrote:

Hello Allyson,

Here is my proposal.  Open the outlook attachment to see the Calendar version.  I included who would be picking up and dropping off and most of the time the kids would be in Day Care.  Pick up’s and drops offs are at day care or my house.  I really think it would be beneficial for the kids to have 3 days in a row at day care vs. splitting those days. This is the reason I want the kids at the beginning or end of the week.  I am willing to give up an evening with them to facilitate that for this month.  The schedule may need to change depending on when I move and secure a job.

Have a good day,

From: Me

Sent: Wednesday, January 04, 2012 12:44 PM

To: G

Subject: Re: Calendar

Im sorry I can't read this format. I am a visual person and reading it all doesn't allow me to "see" the days. Can you put it in a calendar please?

On Wed, Jan 4, 2012 at 1:18 PM, G wrote:

(Calendar attached)

From: Me

Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2012 9:52 AM

To: G

Subject: Re: Calendar

This schedule looks good. I do have one question: On the calendar you have moving to Mesa marked in the last week. Are you moving before or after you have the kids? Can you please provide me with the address of where you are moving as well as any roommates you will be moving in with? I still feel like Mesa isn’t the best move. I think it will make it very difficult for parenting time and you seeing the kids and I would hate for the kids to lose out on the time they get with you. But this is your decision and you are the one that will have to live with the burden/complications that this may create.

I also wanted to send you a notification about me claiming both children on last year’s taxes. So please let this letter serve as my notification that I will be claiming both kids on last year’s taxes due to your being behind on child support. Please note I will not be signing the Form 8332 Release/Revocation of Release of Claim to Exemption for Child by Custodial Parent. 

In regards to child support I did want to express my concern and sadness of your continued decision to not support your kids. I understand you are not working but even paying $50 a week or SOMETHING would be better than nothing. And your logic that my parents should have to “suffer the consequences” and support our children just because they helped me out of a bad marriage is the most skewed logic I have heard in a long time. I never thought you would turn out to be a dead beat dad but you prove me wrong time and time again, and I keep learning just how much I didn’t know what kind of person you really are.

On Thu, Jan 5, 2012 at 11:23 AM, G wrote:

The schedule is agreed to then, including pickups and drop offs.  Your pickup point on the 13th and 24th will be my house.  The details of my move aren’t yet complete.  You can claim S on the taxes. I am more than willing to support S and T by watching them while you are at work.  Let me know in advance if you wish to take advantage of that offer.

From: Me

Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2012 11:30 AM

To: G

Subject: Re: Calendar

I will be claiming both S and T on the taxes.

On Thu, Jan 5, 2012 at 11:38 AM, G wrote:

As stated in the divorce decree, T is yours to claim until S is no longer able to be claimed.  Then you get to claim him one year and I the next.

From: Me

Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2012 12:11 PM

To: G

Subject: Re: Calendar

One more thing that is bugging me and I have to address. As you stated I will be picking up the kids on the 13th and 24th. I can only ASSUME you want me to pick them up because of some misguided thought that because you picked them up from daycare it is my turn; yet you are completely discounting the fact that I dropped them off at daycare. Which is almost as far as the house and the complete opposite direction from me. But whatever. I will pick them up on those days because I don't want to argue now when I foresee plenty of arguments later on when you move to Mesa. So I yet again want to stress the move is YOUR CHOICE and YOU will have to deal with the burden it creates.

I also want to ask what you have been doing in the several months that you have been off? Not because I care about what you are doing but because I don't understand how in so much time you have yet to find a job. AGAIN, a decision YOU make and not working doesn't give you grounds to say you are available to watch the kids and should get some sort of "credit" for it.

On Thu, Jan 5, 2012 at 1:06 PM, G wrote:

The burden of driving will be shared as it states in our decree, distance is not addressed.   You could just bring the kids to my house and skip day care, problem solved.  You aren’t delivering the kids to me so you have to pick them up.  My employment search and every other part of my life is none of your business.  I will only give you the information I am obligated to share by our decree or if it is related to parenting our children.  There simply isn’t any other reason to communicate with you.   Have a great day!

From: Me

Sent: Thursday, January 05, 2012 8:34 PM

To: G

Subject: Re: Calendar

Reread page 6 of the decree...

"...Father's overnights shall begin at 5:00 p.m. on the day Father ends work and shall return the children to daycare before 8:00am on the day Father returns to work. As example, if Father's days off are Tuesday and Wednesday Father shall pick up the children from daycare at 5:00pm on Monday and return the children to daycare on Thursday......one weekday overnight with the children from 6:30 a.m. on his first full day off until 5:00pm on his second day off. As example, if Father has Tuesday and Wednesday off Father will pick the children up at 6:30 a.m. on Tuesday and drop the children off at 5:00 p.m. on Wednesday. ..."

PS Your employment IS my business because you owe $700/month in child support. Of which nonpayment is a jailable offence.

On Fri, Jan 6, 2012 at 12:17 AM, G wrote:

Like I have always said, things will have to change as soon as I get a different job and a new residence.  Hopefully we can find a solution once those matters are finalized that all parties can agree to.  This is between me and you, and doesn’t have to be any harder than we make it.  It is my hope that we can avoid litigation.

I will no longer respond to any email or communication that is not directly about parenting our children.  For some reason you can’t keep yourself from insulting or threatening me and it is not acceptable. 

**I couldn't find the last email I sent him. ?? But it said I wasn't insulting him or making threats. I was only stating facts and opinions.

The Holidays revisited

Again, if you don't know The Holiday drama, go and read for yourself. He is crazy.

Dec 1 10:32am G: trying to make some plans. I have been thinking about my vaca at the end of December and R’s visit. I wasn’t thinking about R Jr and E being in town too. When is he coming out?

Dec 1 10:35am Me: They are here from the 19^th – 27^th but the 27^th they flu out early. So your vaca only impacts one day = the 26^th.

Dec 1 10:37am G: ok Thanks

Dec 1 4:23pm G: I have been thinking about this whole holiday scenario. "g/f" and I have been talking about the importance of cousins and although I only have the kids for 6 nights in the month of December I have an alternative: Instead of me using my vacation time to get more nights how about I pick up the kids after R leaves on the 27^th and have them for 3 nights that week and 3 nights as already planned for the first week of January. That would keep the kids with you for R’s entire visit and it would be easier for S and T because they wouldn’t be leaving the whole family including their cousins. Would that work for you?

Dec 1 4:25pm Me: so the 27-30? Yes, that would be fine.

Dec 1 4:31pm G: ok. Sorry for the grief I caused.

Dec 1 8:22pm Me: So with Christmas coming and the amount of playtime some of the kids toys never see I will be selling or donating some of them. I haven’t been through them but is there anything you might want that I have?

Dec 1 8:49pm G: thank you for asking. I don’t know what to ask for though. I guess anything you think the kids would still enjoy.

Dec 1 8:52pm Me: I will let you know once I go through it. Do you have the felt board by chance? I only have the pieces.

Dec 1 8:53pm G: I haven’t seen it that I remember.

Dec 1 9:00pm Me: Also, for Christmas the kids are getting their bedrooms decorated. One thing I would like to do is hang a nice pic of you in each of their rooms so they can see you. Can you take and send me a nice pic? Either with your phone/camera or "photog". Either you alone or with the kids. And just email it. I will take care of printing and framing.

Bankruptcy

**In the divorce he was granted ownership of the Ford Escape. Because He also settled to take on a Credit Card that is in my name only, I was granted a security intrest in the Escape. He was supposed to make on time payment to the Wells Fargo Visa or I could repo the car and sell it to cover the debt. We settled on this in July. The Divorce was final in September. No payments have ever been made. I started the process of a repo back at the beginning of November. Remember when he was demanding the title? I had the title transferred in my name only just the day before. I hired a repo man the next week. (Now it is January and I still have yet been able to get the car repoed. He parks in the garage at home, drives his g/f car, and doesn't have a job. *SIGH*)

Nov 28 3:34pm G: Since you filed for BK, I need to know your intentions with all the accounts in our names.

Nov 28 3:52pm G: what is the contact info for your bk attorney?

Nov 28 4:05pm G: I need your bk attorney’s info so I can find out what your intentions are with regards to our debts and whether or not I need to file too. Is it still "atty" or someone else?

Nov 28 4:30pm Me: All debts are listed in the bk. Are you still taking the kids tomorrow?

Nov 28 4:32pm G: yes. I need you bk’s attorney’s info so I can find out my rights. I also need the title to the car since you are no longer tied to the debts linked to our divorce decree. Please bring it over tomorrow.

Nov 28 4:50pm Me: G. ******  623-***-****

Nov 28 4:58pm Me: As you stated we will no longer discuss our financial decisions.

Nov 28 5:00pm G: that’s fine. I don’t need to discuss this with you. I just want you to bring the title tomorrow please.

Nov 28 5:07pm Me: I still have a security interest in the car and will not be bringing the title.

Nov 28: 5:10pm G: how is that? You have eliminated your responsibilities to those debts therefore you have no security interest. Is there something I am missing? The only thing tied to the car is wells fargo, which you wont be paying.

Nov 28 6:58pm G: I just read the decree and since you have filed bk I will have to file bk. Therefore you don’t have an interest in the vehicle. Just bring me the title please.

Email:

From: G

Date: 11/30/11

To: me

4pm at QT.

Please be sure to offer me my first right of refusal for any days that you are not able to watch the kids.  I may not exercise it but I would like the opportunity.

What are your intentions regarding the Ford Escape?  It needs a lot of work; the brakes need to be done, belts replaced, an oil leak needs to be fixed, it needs a tune up and on and on.  I don't want to do the work if you are planning something.  Please clarify your intentions.

I would like to help you financially.  I don't have cash but I can watch the kids.  That would save you $75+ per day.  In one month you would save about $1600; that would be equal to the $700 from me and a $900 savings to you.  I know you need the money.  This is what I can offer to help.  This is an open offer but I do need 24 hours advance notice and I would want $35/day child support credit.

Thank you,