Cutting time short

June 12 3:48pm G: the kids and I are at the splash pad at the desert ridge shopping center. Please bring them towels and a change of clothes when you come to get them.

June 12 4:37pm G: TJ is’t having a lot of fun. Can you pick them up early?

June 12 4:38pm Me: can you just bring them home? I am grocery shopping.

June 12 4:40pm G: no I don’t have clothes for TJ. You didn’t give me any. Just finish shopping then come get them when you are done. Sav is having a ton of fun. Don’t take the freeway the traffic is real bad

June 12 5:02pm G: I think Sav just got her first bee sting

June 12 5:07pm Me: 1) have they eaten dinner? 2) will I drop them off tomorrow morn or tues morn? 3) will you bring them back tues night or drop them at daycare wed morn?

June 12 5:11pm G: not yet they are playing in the water. I have appointment with attorneys all day tomorrow cause of your ridiculous offer and you can drop them off tomorrow. Weds we have to compromise and I will go in a little late and we will exchange the kids at work at 2:30.

(I get off work at 3:30)

June 12 5:32pm Me: reread your text and you will know why I was confused.

June 16 email:

Mr. Bradley - Mother has contacted me due to your requests to drop the children off at Mother's place of employment during Mother's work hours.  Please note that children should not be dropped off at anyone's place of work.  This situation has only come about because you chose to change your work schedule.  Please make sure the children are dropped off at their daycare if you are unable to care for them during your parenting time.  Please contact me should you have any questions or concerns.  Very truly yours - Becky

Schedule changes...

Emails:

From: G
Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 6:32 AM
To: Me
Subject: FW: Schedule

A,

Here is my schedule for next week.  I would like the kids Sunday afternoon say 1-5 or 2-6.  If you want to go by the same schedule as before, you can drop them off Tuesday morning at 7 but I will need to return them to you by 1:30 Wednesday. 

I would like to change our agreement as we discussed we would need to do when I switched to days.  I would like to have the kids more often now.  They really don’t have a chance to settle in due to how brief the visit is.  I would like something closer to 50/50.  This would mean having them both of my days off, and either taking them to daycare, or to your mom’s before I go to work when my week starts.  Then I would like to have them part of the weekend, over night either Friday, Saturday, or Sunday depending on which day I have an early shift.  I would pick them up between 3 and 4 and return them the next morning no later than 11 am to you or daycare if the overnight was Sunday night.

What do you think we can work out?

From: Me
Sent: Friday, June 10, 2011 9:12 AM
To: G
Subject: RE: Schedule

For Sunday and next week:

Sunday 2-6 would work better so they have time to wake up from nap and have lunch. And then you would need to make sure they eat dinner before coming home.

I can drop the kids off Monday morning at 6:30am and you can take them to daycare on Wednesday before 11am (cannot drop off kids between 11am – 2pm per the daycare). OR I can drop the kids off on Tuesday morning at 6:30am and you can take them to daycare on Wednesday before 11am. But then you would need to pay for the extra day of daycare for the week @ $70 for the day.

*I do want to mention for Wednesday, as you have seen in the past, S is really used to getting to school and having her cereal and then going to class. They serve the cereal from 6am-7:30am. If you will be dropping   her off after 7:30 just keep in mind she may have a tough time. Just an FYI.

As for the agreement on parenting time going forward, give me some time to think about it and discuss with my lawyer. I will let you know.

 

Dear G:

            It is my understanding that you have changed your shifts at work.  Please note that Mother is willing to cooperate with you to make sure you maintain the current court ordered parenting time.  Mother is willing to provide the children to you each week from 7:00 a.m. on one of your days off until 4:00 p.m. the next day.  Mother will not insist that the day be Tuesday every week but will provide the children on another day if you are working Tuesday. However, in order for this to be done you must provide Mother by Friday of each week the day you wish to have the children the following week.  Mother assumes that you will continue with your four hour block each weekend. 

            Please do not hesitate to contact my office should you have any questions or concerns regarding the above.

           

                                                            Very truly yours,

                                                                        atty

We used to live together. You KNOW what time I get off work!

June 1 3:04pm G: your kids are begging to go to grandma’s. what time can I drop them off?

June 1 3:04pm Me: 4

Insurance

May 27 6:49am G: Did you cancel the policy on the Escape?

May 27 7:04am Me: No. I moved you to the main policy holder and left it under your name with the home owners policy.

May 27 7:06am G: I wish you would have told me that you did that sooner.

May 27 7:06am Me: y

May 27 7:20am G: its called open and honest communication, it is necessary for joint legal custody of our kids to work. If I can’t trust you to be open with an insurance policy how can I without kids? The next time you do something that impacts me, tell me at your earliest possible convenience. No open communication between us equals the court awarding sole custody to one of us whether we like that decision or not. I sent your attorney an email last night.

(WTH does insurance have to do with our kids and custody???)

May 27 7:22am Me: In the letter I left I said I would be removing my name from all our joint accounts. I just took my name to a new policy. Don’t give me crap about open communication.

May 27 7:28am G: that’s true, but you can still be held liable for anything with the house or the car so it doesn’t make sense for you not to be on the policies. I declared that I would pay for the escape policy so why wouldn’t you want to keep yourself protected? This is an insurance policy that protects us from further liability, not really a joint account in so many words.

May 27 7:31am Me: I don’t drive the car and I don’t live in the house. There is no reason for me to be on the policy. YOU still hold a policy so everything is still protected. It doesn’t need me on it. I still don’t understand why the f all this matters. What got your panties in a bunch?

May 27 7:33am G: I went to check the balance on the policy and the farmers site said there weren’t any active policies.

May 27 7:34am Me: call Doug cuz it should still be intact.

May 27 7:36am G: I left him a message. I called farmers just now and it is still in tact but I can’t access it online because the online access was in your name. I have to register for access.

May 27 7:37am Me: Ok then. You are fine and can stop taking it out on me.

May 27 7:39 am G: this could have been avoided had you said you took your name off the policy without canceling it when you made the change

May 27 7:41am Me: I DIDN’T CANCEL IT! I just removed my name. I didn’t know they had to change anything on the original policy other than removing my name until I got the paperwork mailed to me.

May 27 7:43am G: ok calm down I wasn’t trying to ruin your day. I know you didn’t cancel it. I just would have appreciated a heads up when you made the change. That’s all. Have a good day. Sorry for upsetting you.

May 27 7:44am Me: your email did that

May 27 7:46am G: I forgot I put it in the email. Again I apologize. Do you mind paying for half the yard work or do you want to help me do it?

May 27 7:48am Me: Neither. I have no money. I barely make it paying for daycare and rent and stuff. Your joke child support doesn’t even pay half of daycare let alone anything else. Do it yourself.

May 27 7:52am G: Unfortunately we are both responsible, find a cheaper daycare center. You didn’t have to agree to the amount so don’t insult it. I put down what I could afford. I wanted to try to work things out remember? Do you remember why? Of course you do. These are the consequences of your actions and we are both going to suffer for it for years to come. I await a response from your attorney.

May 27 7:54am Me: You want to work it out for money. I don’t want to stay in a loveless marriage for money. Especially when you keep spending all the money. Don’t talk to me about what you can and can’t afford. New table, new 3d projector, etc.

May 27 8:04am G: well you took the tv so I replaced it using mostly gift cards and the table was really cheap from the salvation army. Had you left me either to use while we complete this process I wouldn’t have had to get either. That is problem with taking everything like you did. I was forced into buying a lot of stuff immediately. Tell me, have you achieved anything positive by sneaking around and moving out in the middle of the night? I was mad as hell until I realized I could replace 99.9% of everything you took.

Post move crazy

Emails Between G and attorney after move:

From : G

Date: 5/12/11

To: atty, Me

Dear Attorney,

I received the letter from A and yourself regarding A's departure from the residence at ********* the the utilities associated to that address. 

I set up SRP in my name as of the 16th per your request.  Due to A's actions I was unable to transfer the bill to may name and set up a new account.  There is a $511 deposit on the old account. $180 of that was paid after I was served with divorce papers.  After the final bill is deducted from the $511 deposit, I expect that my half of the deposit to be returned to me. I incurred a sizable additional deposit and need that money to offset the expense.  If I do not receive those funds I will assume the funds were applied instead to the child support previously established. 

A and I are both responsible for the water/city utility bill.  I tried to remove her from the account and can not without the final divorce decree showing that I have ownership of the home.  Our information has been updated so any changes regarding service will require both of our permissions.  A was going to have service shut off on the 16th.  That order is no longer in effect.  The outstanding balance currently is $149.92.  I expect A to pay half of that amount plus half of any additional charges up to the 16th to keep the water from being shut off for non payment.  I am sure A agrees that it is in our kids best interest that running water and city services are maintained. 

I have established separate internet services effective 5/12/11. 

According to the insurance agent the current insurance policies will stay intact.  Our Agent is waiting for A to remove the Kia from the policy and establish her own.  Until then I will only pay for the coverage on the Ford Escape and expect A to pay for the coverage on the Kia. 

I would like to express some concern over the way A moved out of our home.  She had stated on multipul occations she wanted to discuss the divisions of our mutual property on Saturday morning, May 7th when I returned from home from work.  I am sure you are aware she moved out before I got home that morning completely ransacking my personal property and trashing our house in the process.  The home and some of my personal property were damaged in the move.  Additionally A took items that were my property.  I understand that someone else may have accidentally removed the items in their haste to get moved in the middle of the night.  I expect those items to be returned sooner than later.  My biggest concern is that A said one thing and did another.  Establishing this pattern of mis-trust from the beginning is going to make this process much more difficult for both of us and our kids to go through.  Please ask your client to keep her word.  The only times I heave been upset with A during this process were times she did not communicate with me openly.  Joint Legal Custody of our children necessitates that we have open communication.  If she is unable to maintain open honest communication with me I will have to act accordingly.

I would like a complete inventory of every item A took from the house in case there is a dispute over whether or not an item is communal or personal property.  There were many items I considered gifts to me either directly or to us both that either A has claimed as her own or she returned to the people that gave the items to us.  I would also like a position statement from A with a clear proposal in how she would like to divide our assets and debts. 

I am sure you are aware that A and I work for the same establishment.  Please ask A to refrain from any conduct or behavior that could be construed as a conflict of interest.  This includes any tasks related to auditing my cash drawer or time punches unless another manager is present.  We both like our jobs and the management staff is able to work with us to ensure the proper separation of duties.

Sincerely,

G

Mr. G - I am in receipt of your email. 

1.  I will provide the required rule 49 documents to you as soon as received and reviewed by this office.  Mother believes she has most of them gathered and will provide them to my office as soon as possible. 

2.  Mother denies that she "trashed" the community home upon her departure. 

3.  Mother does not agree that you may take self-imposed credits for child support.  Your child support is $350.00 per month commencing May 15, 2011.  Please pay the child support as ordered. 

4. Please note that since you acknowledge Mother is out of the home it will be assumed that you will pay the water/city bill each month even though it remains in both parties names. 

Please do not hesitate to contact my office should you have any questions or concerns regarding this correspondence.  I look forward to working with you on this matter. 

Very truly yours – "atty"

Mrs. "atty" - I have received your email.

I would like to resolve this issue without further delay.  When A and I discussed this matter initailly we thought we could have this resolved at the 61 day point.  That time period has come and gone and I have yet to receive any offer from you to find a suitable conclusion other that what was stated in the injunction.  I agree to most of the terms of that you asked for in the injunction and would like to open negotiations on the remaining matters.  All I see that needs to be done is establish what our debts and assets are and how they are going to be split.  Please let me know if you and your cliente are ready to complete this process.  At this point you should have a complete listing of both.  I would like an appointment with you and your client to review our debts and assets and distrubute them between both parties.

1.  The injunction asked for a 50/50 split of our debts.  Putting aside items that have debts associated to them that should be a fairly short list.  At that point it is my understanding that any debts and associated items go to whoever gets the debt. 

2.  Your client appears to have canceled the automotive insurance policy on the Ford that is in both of our names.  When I logged into our insurance account it says we don"t have any policies in effect.  Because the vehicle is in both of our names and still being paid for, we both have to have insurance on the car.  A could still be held liable for any damages from any accidents or otherwide until the Ford is transfered to my name.  If that item is no longer in dispute, can we put that in writing so I can transfer the title to my name and obtain insurance without A having to be on the policy?

3.  My child support is $300/month and A has refused payment at this point, saying it needs to go through the court system to be recognized as child support.  I will start payments as soon as I have instructions as to where to make the payments. 

4.  I received a tax refund check for the amount of $430.39.  I will be using a portion of those funds to pay Allysons remaining part of the water bill, and maintence on our house to meet HOA and city code for infractions that occured before her departure.  I will fax a copy of the receipt for the maintence on the house and a copy of the refund check to you.  I expect a copy of the SRP final statement and refund check to be provided to me.

5.  I would like to move forward with some sort of agreement on the family residence.  Please find our what your client wants to do with the house so we can move forward.  I am unwilling to make any decisions or follow through with any action to save or sell the house until I have an agreement in writing.

Sincerely,

G

a text from the g/f

May 24 1:44pm G: (pic of T with Dice)

May 24 1:45pm unknown: So cute!

May 24 1:45pm Me to unknown: Who is this?

May 24 1:46pm Me: Please tell your g/fs not to reply all to your texts. I don’t want texts form her/them.

May 24 2:03pm G: Sorry I didn’t know it shared addresses via mass text. I should have sent it to you separately. I just thought you would want to see T moved the chair and climbed up on the table himself. It wont happen again.

May 24 2:41pm G: If you don’t want texts from my friends, girlfriends or otherwise, please don’t ask them who they are. It was my mistake.

May 24 2:42pm Me: I sent it before I realized it was from your text.

Moving out...

**How to exaplin everything that happened? One day G and I were talking and he asked what type of parenting plan I wanted. I told him I could not discuss it with him. He would have to talk to my lawyer. He pressed the issue and so finally I gave him my absolute low ball answer. The kids would live with me and visit him 1 nihgt during the week and for 4 hours on the weekends. He scoffed, said it would never happen and went to take a shower. I never expected it to happen anyway. After he got out of the shower he came to me and told me he would be willing to agree to that parenting plan if I agreed to move out of the house. I said I would agree and my lawyer drafted up the paperwork. We both signed with that parenting plan and an agreement that he would pay $350/month in temporary support.

I moved out on 5/6. At my lawyers suggestion I had family and friends come over after G went to work and we moved me and the kids out in the middle of the night. Here is the note I left:  

G,

I felt it was better to move when you were not here to help make sure that things did not escalate during the move.  

I have taken an approximate value of half of the personal property. I also took items that were directly related to the Best Buy card in my name. If at some point you want to buy an item back from me, I am open to negotiating that down the road.

I am scheduling the City of Peoria water, SRP electric, Cox internet, and Arrowhead water to be cancelled effective May 16th. I am also removing the van from the insurance. Please put these accounts in your name by May 16 so you don't have an interruption in any services you want to keep.

The kids and I are living with my Mom and C for now. I will keep you posted if/when this changes. The kids will continue to attend the same daycare.

We can talk on Monday about if you want to have the kids on Tuesday or not and how we will arrange the pick-up/drop-off.

If you have any questions, please contact my attorney.

A

The next morning he was concerned about seeing the kids and I refused for him to see them at that time since I knew he was upset about me moving. Later that night I sent him a text saying he could have the kids for a few hours on Sunday even though it was Mother’s Day.  He said he only wanted them for 2 hours and would have them back before dinner. He picked them up at 3pm and called to have me get them at 5pm.
I called him last night to arrange for the kids to spend today with him.  He wouldn’t be able to have them over night as he had picked up and extra shift at work and would therefore be working tonight. But I had planned on dropping the kids off in the morning so he could have them for the day, as stated in my letter. Well, on the phone last night he said because I took all the furniture he wasn’t able to take the kids and care for them properly. When I moved I had left the pack N play for TJ to nap/sleep in.  Savannah has slept in his bed on many occasions so I figured she could do that now. And on Saturday he post a pic on Facebook of a new kitchen table he bought.  He could have also bought a toddler bed if he was concerned. 

Finally, he contacted me to see the kids overnight. Over a week after I had moved.

May 11 8:33pm G: I was hoping to have the kids Sunday morning. Can I pick them up at 8?

May 11 8:35pm Me: yes

May 11 8:35pm G: thank you

May 15 7:31am G: Are the kids ready to be picked up?

May 15 7:41am G: I am here to get the kids are they ready to go yet?

May 15 7:42am Me: Sorry. I was in the shower. Yes they are ready… just need socks and shoes.

May 15 7:43am G: Bring them out when ready