Monday, June 17, 2013

The Ex

About a month ago I contacted G's ex g/f. I tossed out that we could get the kids together some times so they could know their sibling and he could know his. When I didn't hear back from her I figured I had tried. Of course this was before setting up the play therapist and at the suggestion of the first therapist I had contacted through my EAP. So imagine my surprise when I woke up Sunday morning to a message from her. She said she wanted to get together and talk and would I meet her one night when the kids were with their dad. She also said she left G due to "domestic violence". No surprise there. I wonder what he did. Was is more of just screaming and name calling or did he actually escalate to physical abuse? Did the kids see any of it???

I emailed the kids therapist that morning to get her take on things. Also, I realized I hadn't told her about the abuse and that is probably something she should really know about. Duh!! But to give myself a break, G WAS there at the intake appointment as well so I wasn't able to go into things like I could have had he not been there.

She responded to me today and said it is important to find out if the kids have seen any of the violence. That when G and I was together I was there to protect them and now with no one there to protect them it can have more traumatic results. Great. Make me feel like shit! She didn't mean to. But really there is nothing I can do. :(  Anyway, in regard to ex g/f she said to meet with her and see what she is thinking. That it would definitely be beneficial to the kids if they could see and have a relationship with her and baby bro AS LONG AS it is consistent. If they are going to see then every week for the next few but then not see them again for months it will cause more damage. But if it is a consistent once a month type thing then yes, do it!

Now I just need to meet up with her. I think we are planning to meet this Wednesday. I will see what she says and then try to find a tactful way to relay the message that if she agrees to have the siblings know each other she needs to commit. I can't let my kids get hurt worse.

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