Here we go again...

So I met George at QT tonight to pick up the kids. I asked him about next week and he started to balk about taking the kids because he has midterms. But then he realized we would be leaving for PA the following week. Throw in Easter and the... fact that I get them this year and it doesn't leave him much time to see them other than next week. I said something about how I could drop them off after our Easter stuff and he could have them that night and then he mentioned the fact that most likely he will be living in Mesa by that time. (A long drive away) Again I pressed the issue on not living in Mesa and the trouble it will cause and how little he will see the kids. He said it would probably only be every other weekend. I said it would be less than that because he wouldn't be able to get them Friday night and he would have to bring them back Sunday night since he couldn't drop them off Monday morning. So really he would only get them Saturday night. THEY would only get HIM Saturday night. I started talking about how much they need him. How Savannah needs him. He said he could see how she is getting by not seeing him. I told him that even now they don't see him enough and the problems it is causing her. I started crying. I couldn't help it. I see how she is hurting. He said he sees it too. He started crying too. I started talking about not moving to Mesa again. He siad there were other reasons he needed to move out there. I guessed it was because Sam wanted to live close to her mom. He didn't confirm it. but he didn't deny it. He said he couldn't tell me the whole storey. I said that I think it is shitty of her to do that to him. To do that to the kids. I know, of all people, how much I need my mom. I love her. But I also think that kids and their needs come first. If I met someone who lived on the other side of the city because of his kids I would move. I can always drive and see my mom. I can always talk to her on the phone. I am a grown adult and can deal with living apart from her. But these are small children and they need their parents. It is important. And they don't understand when he can't be there. It is TOTALLY SHITTY of her to make them all make that sacrifice. She works from home for christ sake!! it isn't even like she is trying to live close to work and cut down her commute. She could live anywhere. And I hate that George is LETTING her dictate this move. Letting HER make him give up his kids for her. And I told him that. I realy think her heard me. I really think he understood. But I also don't see anything changing. I don't see him being able to change her mind. And I don't see him leaving her. It just sucks.

(I sent George an email with a bunch of listings for houses closer to us. Didn't say anyhing, just contained CL links)


On Sat, Mar 31, 2012 at 12:44 PM, G wrote:

Thank you for taking the time to do this.  I know that hearing Savannah and Teagen crying for me hurts.  I know they both need me and want me around more, especially Savannah.  I want to be with them every day.   I asked you for more time with them.  I wanted to figure out a way to be a bigger part of their lives.  However, I agreed to see them less.  I agreed to your terms.  You fought for me to have less time remember?  You fought because you thought it would be best for the kids.  I didn’t want an expensive court battle so I gave in and now our kids pay the price.   After I quit my job you decided Savannah and Teagen would benefit more by being in school rather than by being with me.  That was your choice.  I would have done a lot of thing differently had I been watching them during the day.   The week you asked me to watch Teagen, I literally couldn’t afford to.   

As to my move to Mesa, I like it there.  What  would the kids and I be giving up?  A mid week visit. Picking up the kids between 5 and 6 with a bed time of 7:30 and then getting them up to take to school in the morning.  Think about that for just a sec.  Yes they see me for just long enough to eat and go to bed.  Then I have to take them right back to school.  How is Savannah going to react the next day when I take her to school?  Do you think she is going to be behaved?  Do you really think it won’t interrupt how her week goes?  They will not go to sleep at 7:30.  It will be 9 before they go to bed.  (I can’t get homework done when they are here because they won’t go to sleep).   It’s a good idea for me to see the kids, but I think it would be bad for them in practice.  Maybe we can skype instead?

Let’s Talk about Sam for just a sec.  My life without Samantha… Working at Marriott taking home $900 per month.  Rent for a studio apartment that will take goliath… $550 the closest would be in metro center.  That leaves $350 for gas, food, electricity, car insurance, etc.  I need $200 for food minimum.  That would be a studio and Savannah and Teagen would be sleeping in my bed.  There’s no hope for maintaining any kind of schedule.  In fact that just wouldn’t work.  Ok so I rent a cheap room in someone’s house.  Closer but Savannah and Teagen would have to sleep in my room and I would be living essentially with strangers.  Not really ok for the kids.  I don’t see a way that works.  Now with Samantha, I can afford a 3-4 bedroom house where the kids might get their own bedrooms in a nice neighborhood.  I can provide a healthier environment and a better quality of life.  The sacrifice is that I give up location.  My life not living with Sam as I currently stand… if the house sold last Tuesday… Homeless as of tomorrow.  As it is since they restarted the foreclosure… homeless in 3 months.

How do I have time with the kids if I am homeless?  How does that work?  I just had to pay a bill for $1027.74  It was all the money I had.  Don’t ask for details, I made a mistake.  How am I supposed to pay for a place to live with no money.  Right now, I NEED Sam so I have a place to live.  Right now I NEED Sam so I can see Savannah and Teagen, because right now, without her, I don’t take the kids at all and I see them once a week at McDonalds.   That is the reality of my current situation.  Don’t be upset with Sam.  Thank her for helping me be a part of their lives.  Thank her for caring enough that she is willing to move from a stable environment she really likes to getting a place we can share so I can continue to see Savannah and Teagen.

On Sat, Mar 31, 2012 at 10:09 PM, A wrote:

You just don't get it.

The end result is its your choice if you want to see your kids.