No fights. No big issues. Just an update. Since G has gotten a job there hasn't been much difference he can make in the schedule. Also, the support payments have kicked in so money is coming in regularly now. I have decided to sesnd updated invoices each month with his extra daycare costs and such. That when when/if we go back to court I can show them that I have kept him updated and get that added into his arears. But no looming court that I know of. I still think it will come up after his new baby is born. He will be looking for a reduction. But I am just holding tight and waiting for him to make the first move on that.
As for his parenting time, due to his work schedule he had to move into every other weekend. And with working until 9pm he can't get the kids Friday night. So it is only every other weekend from Saturday morning to Tuesday morning. 2 nights every other week. 4 days a month. :( Over the summer the kids were so busy with swim lessons and our activities that I don't think they really noticed. But now I can tell they notice how little they see him and they really miss him. They are always asking when they will see him again. And usually by week 2 TJ ends up crying for his daddy. I can't even have him call since George is at work by that time and they are in bed by the time he is off. I feel bad for the kids but there isn't anything I can do to help. :( This will be their new life. 4 days/ month with their dad.
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Friday, August 3, 2012
Confirmation
Last week G told me his new schedule is M-F 12 (noon) - 9pm. This causes many problems. He obviously can't pick the kids up at that time of night. Which means not only can't he have them any more time than every other weekend, it also means he is unable to pick them up on Friday's for the weekend. We talked about it and disucssed it. He wanted to be able to have his g/f pick them up on Friday. She would take them home, get them dinner, and get them to bed. After thinking about it I decided that I would give it a try. After all she is kinda their step mom at this point, they would miss a night with them which they already miss enough time with them, and I would miss another night to myself to do my own thing. Say what you want, that time really helps me. So this was to be the first weekend she should be picking up the kids...
Aug 2 1:48pm Me: I just got a reminder call from the peditrician. Forgot S has her well chek appt at 4. So I will get the kids then meet you (or Sam?) after the appt.
Aug 2 1:51pm G: tomorrow?
Aug 2 1:51pm Me: Yes, tomorrow
Aug 2 4:00pm G: G/f isn't feeling well. I will get the kids after work or Saturday morning.
Aug 2 4:56pm Me: Call me when you are off work so we can talk
Aug 2 4:56pm G: about what?
Aug 2 5:30pm G: what works best, Friday night at 9:15 or early Saturday?
Aug 2 6:10pm Me: Because I actually had plans tomorrow night. And if she planned to get them from daycare I don't understand why she can't get them from me. But it does seem that she is avoiding me. If you are trying to hide the fact that she is pregnant I have known for a while. Like I said, I am not dumb. And no, you cannot pick them up 2 hours past bedtime.
Aug 2 6:44pm G: First off I asked what worked better for you. Secondly it's not g/f's responsibility to watch the kids. She was doing this as a favor to the kids so they wouldn't be disappointed and me so I didn't have to make a long drive in the morning. I haven't talked to you about her pregnancy becuase it's none of your business, not because you're stupid. She changed her mind which is basically the equivalent of a baby sitter canceling. Sorry about your plans. See you Saturday morning.
Aug 2 7:59pm Me: Just when I start to be ok with g/f you say something to make me not like her all over again. I sure as hell hope the kids mean more to her than a sitter. They LOVE her. And they are just as upset when she cxls on them as when you do. And this wasn't just about me and my plans but you didn't want to call and discuss it. Whatever. See you Sat.
**S has had a tough week. I don't know why. If she were older I would say she is hormonal and PMSing. I know part of it is that she is tired. But I don't know why else she is having a bad week. She is very whiney and gets upset easily. She has been crying when I drop her off at daycare in the morning. I just don't know. THEN we had to cxl plans on Wednesday because of my dentist appt. THEN I told her we would go swimming last night and got to the pool and it was closed. It was looking like I would have to CXL swimming and at the same time G is telling me that he is g/f is cxling picking her up. In her emotional state I was not relishing this conversation. Ended up we were able to use Nana's pool and swim. Plus we got to have dinner with Nana (our plans that were cxled on Wed) so everything turned out ok there. As for tonight, she is excited to go to the doc and spend her new gift card from her birthday so I think she will be ok with seeing her daddy tomorrow morning. But it still pisses me off and makes me worried about all future Friday pickups.
Aug 2 1:48pm Me: I just got a reminder call from the peditrician. Forgot S has her well chek appt at 4. So I will get the kids then meet you (or Sam?) after the appt.
Aug 2 1:51pm G: tomorrow?
Aug 2 1:51pm Me: Yes, tomorrow
Aug 2 4:00pm G: G/f isn't feeling well. I will get the kids after work or Saturday morning.
Aug 2 4:56pm Me: Call me when you are off work so we can talk
Aug 2 4:56pm G: about what?
Aug 2 5:30pm G: what works best, Friday night at 9:15 or early Saturday?
Aug 2 6:10pm Me: Because I actually had plans tomorrow night. And if she planned to get them from daycare I don't understand why she can't get them from me. But it does seem that she is avoiding me. If you are trying to hide the fact that she is pregnant I have known for a while. Like I said, I am not dumb. And no, you cannot pick them up 2 hours past bedtime.
Aug 2 6:44pm G: First off I asked what worked better for you. Secondly it's not g/f's responsibility to watch the kids. She was doing this as a favor to the kids so they wouldn't be disappointed and me so I didn't have to make a long drive in the morning. I haven't talked to you about her pregnancy becuase it's none of your business, not because you're stupid. She changed her mind which is basically the equivalent of a baby sitter canceling. Sorry about your plans. See you Saturday morning.
Aug 2 7:59pm Me: Just when I start to be ok with g/f you say something to make me not like her all over again. I sure as hell hope the kids mean more to her than a sitter. They LOVE her. And they are just as upset when she cxls on them as when you do. And this wasn't just about me and my plans but you didn't want to call and discuss it. Whatever. See you Sat.
**S has had a tough week. I don't know why. If she were older I would say she is hormonal and PMSing. I know part of it is that she is tired. But I don't know why else she is having a bad week. She is very whiney and gets upset easily. She has been crying when I drop her off at daycare in the morning. I just don't know. THEN we had to cxl plans on Wednesday because of my dentist appt. THEN I told her we would go swimming last night and got to the pool and it was closed. It was looking like I would have to CXL swimming and at the same time G is telling me that he is g/f is cxling picking her up. In her emotional state I was not relishing this conversation. Ended up we were able to use Nana's pool and swim. Plus we got to have dinner with Nana (our plans that were cxled on Wed) so everything turned out ok there. As for tonight, she is excited to go to the doc and spend her new gift card from her birthday so I think she will be ok with seeing her daddy tomorrow morning. But it still pisses me off and makes me worried about all future Friday pickups.
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Child Support
**last week I again asked G for Money. I told him I had to pay the daycare this week and the cost was $1000 for the month. I had $1200 in my account but I had to pay insurance, my student loan, and buy gas and grocerie, as well as S's birthday pressent all before I got paid again. He promised to send me $350 from his check on Friday. We also discussed BOTH of us taking the kids out to dinner for S's birthday. THAT will be intresting.
July 17 5:43pm G: did you get the payment? are you up for going with the kids and I for dinner? if so lets make sure to keep things about Savannah.
July 17 5:54pm Me: Yes, I thought that was the plan all along. Of course it is about her.
July 17 5:58pm Me: Its when you say stupid stuff like this that I get frustrated with you.
July 17 6:03pm G: This is the first time we have done anything together with the kids. I just want it to go smoothly.
July 17 6:06pm Me: I would never discuss our business with them there. When we have talked about it during exchanges the kids have always been in the car and away from us. They don't need to be involved. And no I haven't gotten the money yet but I can see it in the system. Had to borrow from my mom until it can be deposited to my account.
July 17 6:07pm G: that sux that it takes so long to get to you.
July 17 6:08pm Me: did you talk to HR about getting the direct withdrawl taken care of?
July 17 6:09pm G: working on it. I will continue to make deposits until the system takes over. you will get $350 every 2 weeks.
July 17 6:13pm Me: Ok. Thx. I talked to DCSE today and they still hadn't known about your job (5 weeks ago you asked me not to tell them and that you were taking care of it)
*** I have my suspicions about his willingness to send money now. Here is my theory: We are supposed to do a yearly review of the parenting time and child support. One year will be in September. I think he is going to drag us back into the courts to get things changed and his lawyer OR his family is telling him that he needs to be making support payments if he is to have a chance in hell of winning. That it wont look good for him if he hasn't been paying the ordered support. Too bad for him he still wont have a chance in hell of winning.
~Monies owed NOT included in the arrears of which is currently $7651.63.
July 17 5:43pm G: did you get the payment? are you up for going with the kids and I for dinner? if so lets make sure to keep things about Savannah.
July 17 5:54pm Me: Yes, I thought that was the plan all along. Of course it is about her.
July 17 5:58pm Me: Its when you say stupid stuff like this that I get frustrated with you.
July 17 6:03pm G: This is the first time we have done anything together with the kids. I just want it to go smoothly.
July 17 6:06pm Me: I would never discuss our business with them there. When we have talked about it during exchanges the kids have always been in the car and away from us. They don't need to be involved. And no I haven't gotten the money yet but I can see it in the system. Had to borrow from my mom until it can be deposited to my account.
July 17 6:07pm G: that sux that it takes so long to get to you.
July 17 6:08pm Me: did you talk to HR about getting the direct withdrawl taken care of?
July 17 6:09pm G: working on it. I will continue to make deposits until the system takes over. you will get $350 every 2 weeks.
July 17 6:13pm Me: Ok. Thx. I talked to DCSE today and they still hadn't known about your job (5 weeks ago you asked me not to tell them and that you were taking care of it)
*** I have my suspicions about his willingness to send money now. Here is my theory: We are supposed to do a yearly review of the parenting time and child support. One year will be in September. I think he is going to drag us back into the courts to get things changed and his lawyer OR his family is telling him that he needs to be making support payments if he is to have a chance in hell of winning. That it wont look good for him if he hasn't been paying the ordered support. Too bad for him he still wont have a chance in hell of winning.
~Monies owed NOT included in the arrears of which is currently $7651.63.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Drowning
So I moved the kids into a closer, cheaper, more educational daycare. I am surprised they have made the transition so well. No tears or freakouts. :) But, while this daycare is cheaper, it requires I pay 1 month in advance to get such a great rate. Nothing like shelling out $1000 in one pop. :-/ And of course I have yet to receive any money from G, 3 weeks into him finally having a job. Last week he told me he would be able to pay $100 on Monday. Not much in the grande scheme of things but every little bit helps. I still haven't seen that money though. Let the emails begin: (PS he asked for another discount form for his mom to come out. But it isn't like I am going to deny my kids grandparent. *sigh*)
From:A
Sent: Thursday, June 21, 2012 1:11 PM
To: G
Subject: Form
Here is the form for your mom.
Were you able to make that support payment you talked about? I just borrowed money from my mom for daycare costs and I would like to pay her back but with the electric going up and other bills I just don't know how to pay her more than a little each check and I am just going to have to borrow again in a month when I have to pay daycare again. I am kinda drowning here.
~A
Jun 22 2:11pm G: made a payment last night.
**He made a payment of $150. His obligation is $700/month PLUS paying 1/2 of the extra days the kids are in daycare.
From:A
Sent: Thursday, June 21, 2012 1:11 PM
To: G
Subject: Form
Here is the form for your mom.
Were you able to make that support payment you talked about? I just borrowed money from my mom for daycare costs and I would like to pay her back but with the electric going up and other bills I just don't know how to pay her more than a little each check and I am just going to have to borrow again in a month when I have to pay daycare again. I am kinda drowning here.
~A
Jun 22 2:11pm G: made a payment last night.
**He made a payment of $150. His obligation is $700/month PLUS paying 1/2 of the extra days the kids are in daycare.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Trying to get $$... HAHAHA
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 8:46 AM
To: G
Subject: Daycare
I have been thinking about the extra charge for daycare. Since you would need to pay 1/2 of the extra days; you can pay that every 2 weeks when you pick up the kids. So $70 per day/2 = $35 X 2 days per week = $70 per week X 2 weeks = $140. Please pay $140 to the daycare on the Fridays you pick up the kids.
A
From: G
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 10:02 AM
To: A
Subject: Re: Daycare
All the payments I make will be directly to the child support account. I will not be paying the daycare or you directly.
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 10:17 AM
To: G
Subject: Re: Daycare
The child support account does not take into account the extra days of daycare. You and your lawyer fought for it to be this way with understanding that you would pay for extra days at daycare. It is expicitly writtin in the decree.
From: G
Date: Wed, May 30, 2012 at 10:37 AM
To: A
Subject: RE: Daycare
I will pay the extra expense through the child support account
From: G
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 11:52 AM
To: A
Subject: RE: Daycare
You are right; I did arrange it that way. However, it depends on what the department of child support enforcement does to my checks; If they garnish my wages I won’t be able to pay any extra until the past due is caught up and they stop the wage garnishment. Until I know what they are going to do, I can’t make any promises either way.
If DCSE doesn’t garnish my wages, we will need to discuss a reasonable way for me to get caught up and claim S for 2012. It is a commission based position with a low base so I can’t make any commitments until I have an idea what my commission will be like.
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 12:20 PM
To: G
Subject: Re: Daycare
I called DES and asked them how this should be handled. They told me that it needs to be handled like medical fees. You should pay those to me directly. They cannot track them and therefore cannot process them. Any payments you make through the clearing house will go towards child support or your arrears. Which would leave you with unreimbursed daycare as well as medical.
If you are worried about tracking them you shouldn’t be. I have a book to track all of these. If you like we can both sign the book as a “receipt” that you paid. Or, as I suggested, you can pay the daycare direct. Did you know when payments are made they make notes as to who paid it? Yes, they do. Also, you would have your bank account statement to show that you paid.
You need to budget for these payments because the daycare still needs to be paid and medical expenses still need to be paid. I have been struggling to support them entirely for the past 6 months and cannot afford 5 days a week by myself. I need you to be vested in supporting your children.
From: G
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 3:51 PM
To: A
Subject: Re: Daycare
Like I said in my previous email:
“it depends on what the department of child support enforcement does to my checks; If they garnish my wages I won’t be able to pay any extra until the past due is caught up and they stop the wage garnishment. Until I know what they are going to do, I can’t make any promises either way.”
You didn’t get it the first time I said it so let me be a little more blunt. I will discuss this with you when I start getting a paycheck.
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 8:46 AM
To: G
Subject: Daycare
I have been thinking about the extra charge for daycare. Since you would need to pay 1/2 of the extra days; you can pay that every 2 weeks when you pick up the kids. So $70 per day/2 = $35 X 2 days per week = $70 per week X 2 weeks = $140. Please pay $140 to the daycare on the Fridays you pick up the kids.
A
From: G
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 10:02 AM
To: A
Subject: Re: Daycare
All the payments I make will be directly to the child support account. I will not be paying the daycare or you directly.
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 10:17 AM
To: G
Subject: Re: Daycare
The child support account does not take into account the extra days of daycare. You and your lawyer fought for it to be this way with understanding that you would pay for extra days at daycare. It is expicitly writtin in the decree.
From: G
Date: Wed, May 30, 2012 at 10:37 AM
To: A
Subject: RE: Daycare
I will pay the extra expense through the child support account
From: G
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 11:52 AM
To: A
Subject: RE: Daycare
You are right; I did arrange it that way. However, it depends on what the department of child support enforcement does to my checks; If they garnish my wages I won’t be able to pay any extra until the past due is caught up and they stop the wage garnishment. Until I know what they are going to do, I can’t make any promises either way.
If DCSE doesn’t garnish my wages, we will need to discuss a reasonable way for me to get caught up and claim S for 2012. It is a commission based position with a low base so I can’t make any commitments until I have an idea what my commission will be like.
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 12:20 PM
To: G
Subject: Re: Daycare
I called DES and asked them how this should be handled. They told me that it needs to be handled like medical fees. You should pay those to me directly. They cannot track them and therefore cannot process them. Any payments you make through the clearing house will go towards child support or your arrears. Which would leave you with unreimbursed daycare as well as medical.
If you are worried about tracking them you shouldn’t be. I have a book to track all of these. If you like we can both sign the book as a “receipt” that you paid. Or, as I suggested, you can pay the daycare direct. Did you know when payments are made they make notes as to who paid it? Yes, they do. Also, you would have your bank account statement to show that you paid.
You need to budget for these payments because the daycare still needs to be paid and medical expenses still need to be paid. I have been struggling to support them entirely for the past 6 months and cannot afford 5 days a week by myself. I need you to be vested in supporting your children.
From: G
Sent: Wednesday, May 30, 2012 3:51 PM
To: A
Subject: Re: Daycare
Like I said in my previous email:
“it depends on what the department of child support enforcement does to my checks; If they garnish my wages I won’t be able to pay any extra until the past due is caught up and they stop the wage garnishment. Until I know what they are going to do, I can’t make any promises either way.”
You didn’t get it the first time I said it so let me be a little more blunt. I will discuss this with you when I start getting a paycheck.
Friday, May 25, 2012
DES: Dept of Economic Security/Child Support Enforcement
According to DCSE records, the following items are the most recent actions taken to enforce your case. The information in this area is the most current, up-to-date information for your case and is updated regularly
Account Summary
| ||||||||
| Arrears Balance | ||||||||
| Total: | $6,285.50 | |||||||
| Last Payment Sent | ||||||||
| no payment history on file | ||||||||
| Ticket No: | ****** | |
| Asked On: | 05/17/2012 8:56 PM | |
| Answered On: | 05/23/2012 9:35 AM | |
| Question: | ||
| I wanted to inform you that my ex (the non custodial parent) recently moved. His new address is **************. He also informed me today that he received an official job offer from Cox. He is supposed to go fill out his new hire paperwork next week. | ||
| Answer: | ||
| Ms. B, thank you for providing the current address information for Mr. B. This information must be verified by our sources before we can proceed with the next action on the case. Please allow approximately 30 days for this action to be completed. We appreciate your assistance in our effort to successfully enforce your child support order. Also, thank you for providing the employment information for Mr. B. This information has been noted to your case. Thank you for contacting DCSE online. | ||
Update: the past week...
May 20 11:20am G: how are the kids?
May 20 12:04pm Me: they seem to be doing much better. S still has a cough and complains that she is still sickbut I think that is just cuz she wants medicine and likes being coddled. Lol
May 20 12:39pm G: and how is T's HFM looking? Can you send me a pic of the kids?
May 20 1:35pm Me: I will send a pic when they wake up. The HFM is mostly healed. Still see it on him but they are healing. Not contageous anymore.
May 20 3:54pm G: are they healthy enough for daycare?
May 20 3:54pm Me: yes
May 20 3:57pm Me: Sitting in Grandma Sugar's chair.
May 20 4:00pm G: ok. well I was thinking I could pick them up tomorrow morning at Danny's in DR and take them back to you or daycare Wed.
May 20 4:06pm Me: ok. 7am?
May 20 4:20pm G: ok. please pack enough clothes for them this time.
May 20 4:20pm Me: only 2 nights?
May 20 4:23pm G: I have to have time to study for my final. you could bring them down tonight but it looks like you are at B's parents?
May 20 4:24pm Me: yes. Last night with my dad. When do you start work? Do you know your schedule yet?
May 20 4:30pm G: I'll have more info tomorrow afternoon
May 20 4:31pm Me: So is g/f watching the kids while you go do paperwork?
May 20 4:32pm G: no. I will have the kids. I will have more info on my job tomorrow.
May 20 4:33pm Me: I wouldn't care. I was just trying to prepare myself for it.
May 20 4:36pm G: for what? I am getting the kids tomorrow. I don't kow my schedule or start date for sure. I got a voice mail saying I got the job, look for another call and more info Monday.
May 21 6:58am Me: We're here.
From: G
Sent: Tuesday, May 22, 2012 9:25 PM
To: A
Subject: Work Schedule
A,
I start work with Cox Communications Monday, June 4th. My schedule while I am in training will be M-F 8-5 for approximately 8 weeks. After that I will be assigned to a team and get another schedule. I was thinking I could get the kids from day care every other Friday and take them to day care the following Monday morning during this time period. What would you like to schedule for next week? When do you want to start the every other weekend rotation? I was thinking I would have the kids next week for 2-3 nights then Friday June 8th through the 11th. I will resume paying child support as soon as I get my first pay check.
-G
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2012 8:19 AM
To: G
Subject: Re: Work Schedule
That sounds fine. And actually works well with their swim lessons so they wont end up missing any classes. And they start and end at the same time too. What days do you want next week? Maybe Tuesday thru Friday? That way it isn't so long inbetween seeing them? And are you not going to take them for 1 night during the week?You could pick them up from swim class, have dinner and then take them to daycare the next morning.
Where are you dropping them off today? here at my work at 330? Or at daycare?
May 23 9:24am G: I will drop off the kids to you this afternoon at DR. I was thinking of letting them play in the splash pad there. What time?
May 23 9:42am Me: I will meet you at the splash pad at 330.
May 23 3:29pm Me: Where are you?
**They arrived about 5 minutes later, late. We all sat and watched them for a while making idle chit chat. When we left I told g/f congrats and walked away. She started to say thank you but it drifted off. I wish I could have seen the looks on hers and G's face. But I had walked off already. ;-) LOL
From: G
Sent: Thursday, May 24, 2012 9:04 AM
To: A
Subject: Re: Work Schedule
Next week I will pick up the kids Tuesday from daycare and return them to you Friday afternoon. Keeping the kids out of daycare an extra day this week and next should offset the extra cost you incurred while I was out of town visiting my dad. Does that work for you?
From: A
Sent: Thursday, May 24, 2012 10:31 AM
To: G
Subject: Re: Work Schedule
That works fine.
We need to discuss how you will be paying for the extra daycare this summer since it is not included in your child support.
*no reply
May 20 12:04pm Me: they seem to be doing much better. S still has a cough and complains that she is still sickbut I think that is just cuz she wants medicine and likes being coddled. Lol
May 20 12:39pm G: and how is T's HFM looking? Can you send me a pic of the kids?
May 20 1:35pm Me: I will send a pic when they wake up. The HFM is mostly healed. Still see it on him but they are healing. Not contageous anymore.
May 20 3:54pm G: are they healthy enough for daycare?
May 20 3:54pm Me: yes
May 20 3:57pm Me: Sitting in Grandma Sugar's chair.
May 20 4:06pm Me: ok. 7am?
May 20 4:20pm G: ok. please pack enough clothes for them this time.
May 20 4:20pm Me: only 2 nights?
May 20 4:23pm G: I have to have time to study for my final. you could bring them down tonight but it looks like you are at B's parents?
May 20 4:24pm Me: yes. Last night with my dad. When do you start work? Do you know your schedule yet?
May 20 4:30pm G: I'll have more info tomorrow afternoon
May 20 4:31pm Me: So is g/f watching the kids while you go do paperwork?
May 20 4:32pm G: no. I will have the kids. I will have more info on my job tomorrow.
May 20 4:33pm Me: I wouldn't care. I was just trying to prepare myself for it.
May 20 4:36pm G: for what? I am getting the kids tomorrow. I don't kow my schedule or start date for sure. I got a voice mail saying I got the job, look for another call and more info Monday.
May 21 6:58am Me: We're here.
From: G
Sent: Tuesday, May 22, 2012 9:25 PM
To: A
Subject: Work Schedule
A,
I start work with Cox Communications Monday, June 4th. My schedule while I am in training will be M-F 8-5 for approximately 8 weeks. After that I will be assigned to a team and get another schedule. I was thinking I could get the kids from day care every other Friday and take them to day care the following Monday morning during this time period. What would you like to schedule for next week? When do you want to start the every other weekend rotation? I was thinking I would have the kids next week for 2-3 nights then Friday June 8th through the 11th. I will resume paying child support as soon as I get my first pay check.
-G
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, May 23, 2012 8:19 AM
To: G
Subject: Re: Work Schedule
That sounds fine. And actually works well with their swim lessons so they wont end up missing any classes. And they start and end at the same time too. What days do you want next week? Maybe Tuesday thru Friday? That way it isn't so long inbetween seeing them? And are you not going to take them for 1 night during the week?You could pick them up from swim class, have dinner and then take them to daycare the next morning.
Where are you dropping them off today? here at my work at 330? Or at daycare?
May 23 9:24am G: I will drop off the kids to you this afternoon at DR. I was thinking of letting them play in the splash pad there. What time?
May 23 9:42am Me: I will meet you at the splash pad at 330.
May 23 3:29pm Me: Where are you?
**They arrived about 5 minutes later, late. We all sat and watched them for a while making idle chit chat. When we left I told g/f congrats and walked away. She started to say thank you but it drifted off. I wish I could have seen the looks on hers and G's face. But I had walked off already. ;-) LOL
From: G
Sent: Thursday, May 24, 2012 9:04 AM
To: A
Subject: Re: Work Schedule
Next week I will pick up the kids Tuesday from daycare and return them to you Friday afternoon. Keeping the kids out of daycare an extra day this week and next should offset the extra cost you incurred while I was out of town visiting my dad. Does that work for you?
From: A
Sent: Thursday, May 24, 2012 10:31 AM
To: G
Subject: Re: Work Schedule
That works fine.
We need to discuss how you will be paying for the extra daycare this summer since it is not included in your child support.
*no reply
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
I'm never getting rid of this FREAKING house!!!
I am so pissed. I am SO PISSED!!! I don't know what I can do. I just want my name OFF that house. I just can't get OUT!!!! I want OFF the HOA. I want to be DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BASTARD!! I texted George that I was going to fax the bank requesting a Deed In Lue of Foreclosure. Texts below…
May 15 8:03am Me: I am going to fax papers into the bank today requesting a deed in lue of foreclosure (surrender of the property). They will then contact me and need access to the house to appraise it.
May 15 8:11am G: That’s not your place and beyond what we agreed in the divorce. I won’t consent to it.
May 15 8:13am Me: You aren’t doing anything. I got a letter from the bank yesterday that they are aware the property is vacant and they may take possession of it anyway. The deed in lue will release us of responsibility of the property. If you don’t want to do it please explain what other plan you have.
May 15 8:14am G: I am trying to get a loan modification and keep it.
May 15 8:15am Me: Then pay the HOA
May 15 8:17am Me: Why did you move then? How do you expect to get a loan mod with no job? When will my name be removed?
May 15 8:20am G: as soon as I have the money I will. I don’t have any cash atm I can use to pay them. A lot of things changed recently. I have a tentative job offer. I didn’t want to say anything because it’s not final yet. We can discuss it once the offer is final. I will let you know when I have more info.
If he tried for a loan mod it will put a hold on the foreclosure. And when he CAN’T get a loan modification everything will reset and the foreclosure process will have to be started ALL OVER AGAIN!!!
I HATE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
May 15 8:30am Me: Are you still living in Mesa or are you moving back to the house?
May 15 8:32am G: that is up in the air. I will move back into the house if the mod goes through. I don't have time to discuss this right now. Have a good day. TTYL.
Update:
I knew something wasn't right. I just had this funny feeling when he said, "A lot of things changed recently."...
I sent him a text today that T has HFM (Hand, Foot, Mouth disease aka Coxsackie Virus) again. He asked how he was doing and i said he was home with my dad today. I was hoping he would offer to take the kids tomorrow but I'm glad I didn't hold my breath.
May 17 8:32am Me: T has hfm again :(
May 17 9:15am G: that sucks. How long is that contagious for?
May 17 9:19am G: How is he doing? how is S?
May 17 9:27am G: can I call and talk to S?
May 17 10:26am Me: They are home with my dad today. I couldn't take any more time off work. He seems to be doing ok. S has been ok too. My dad in town is a good distraction.
May 17 10:25am G: ok good. Id like to talk to them later if possible. text me when it's a good time for me to talk to them.
He called at 4:56pm. He talked to S and then T. Then he talked to me. I explained how T had been. Also told him S had developed a cough and that T had a cough last week that I took him to the doc for. He asked how I knew T had hfm. If I had taken him to the doc? I said no. He asked if I was sure it wasn't Parvo. I told him dogs get parvo. he told me people get it too. Things were just sounding too wierd. Then he told me to keep him updated on the kids conditions because it would affect his visitation next week. I asked how it would affect visitation and he told me that if they were still sick he wouldn't be able to take them. I asked why not. After just the slightest hesitation he said he had finals he had to study for. and so he couldn't focus if he had sick kids. (*ahem*bullshit*ahem*) I asked him what I was to do with them becaues I already took yesterday unpaid because I have no more sick time and I couldn't keep asking my mom to take her time off and watch them. he said we would cross that bridge when we come to it. That we have all weekend for them to get better. *sigh*
After I got off the phone and had time I googled parvo...
"Fifth disease, so-called because it was the fifth red-rash childhood disease to be identified, is generally a mild illness that most commonly affects preschool and school-age children. It's also sometimes referred to as "slapped cheeks disease" because of the telltale red facial rash that infected children commonly develop.
Adults can get fifth disease, too. It's caused by a virus called parvovirus B19, which inhibits the production of red blood cells. For otherwise healthy adults and children, a temporary halt in the production of new cells isn't a problem because the illness usually doesn't last longer than most of the red blood cells they already have circulating. But for people with chronic anemia (from a condition such as sickle cell disease) or an immune deficiency, and for a relatively small number of unborn babies, the virus can cause serious problems."http://www.babycenter.com/0_fifth-disease-parvovirus-b19-during-pregnancy_1463060.bc
Uh huh! Suspicions confirmed...
May 17 6:46pm Me: I wish you would quit lying to me. Especially since you aren't good at it. I'm not dumb. I didn't believe your lie about finals. And I looked it up and parvo is 5ths disease. Which I know ALL about because S had it when I was pregnant with T. Please stop treating me like I am dumb. Please stop lying to me.
May 17 6:57pm G: I do have my finaly in calculus next saturday. I have a ton of work to do to prepare for it. I am concerned about T and wanted to try to figure out what he has. I may have gotten bad info on the parvo thing. It was second hand info. I am also concerned about S now. Are you sure it is not measels? They always get hfm in their mouths, not on the hands and feet.
May 17 7:30pm Me: I'm positive it is hfm. But if you would like to come take him to the doc then I would be fine with that.
May 17 7:34pm G: k
May 15 8:30am Me: Are you still living in Mesa or are you moving back to the house?
May 15 8:32am G: that is up in the air. I will move back into the house if the mod goes through. I don't have time to discuss this right now. Have a good day. TTYL.
Update:
I knew something wasn't right. I just had this funny feeling when he said, "A lot of things changed recently."...
I sent him a text today that T has HFM (Hand, Foot, Mouth disease aka Coxsackie Virus) again. He asked how he was doing and i said he was home with my dad today. I was hoping he would offer to take the kids tomorrow but I'm glad I didn't hold my breath.
May 17 8:32am Me: T has hfm again :(
May 17 9:15am G: that sucks. How long is that contagious for?
May 17 9:19am G: How is he doing? how is S?
May 17 9:27am G: can I call and talk to S?
May 17 10:26am Me: They are home with my dad today. I couldn't take any more time off work. He seems to be doing ok. S has been ok too. My dad in town is a good distraction.
May 17 10:25am G: ok good. Id like to talk to them later if possible. text me when it's a good time for me to talk to them.
He called at 4:56pm. He talked to S and then T. Then he talked to me. I explained how T had been. Also told him S had developed a cough and that T had a cough last week that I took him to the doc for. He asked how I knew T had hfm. If I had taken him to the doc? I said no. He asked if I was sure it wasn't Parvo. I told him dogs get parvo. he told me people get it too. Things were just sounding too wierd. Then he told me to keep him updated on the kids conditions because it would affect his visitation next week. I asked how it would affect visitation and he told me that if they were still sick he wouldn't be able to take them. I asked why not. After just the slightest hesitation he said he had finals he had to study for. and so he couldn't focus if he had sick kids. (*ahem*bullshit*ahem*) I asked him what I was to do with them becaues I already took yesterday unpaid because I have no more sick time and I couldn't keep asking my mom to take her time off and watch them. he said we would cross that bridge when we come to it. That we have all weekend for them to get better. *sigh*
After I got off the phone and had time I googled parvo...
"Fifth disease, so-called because it was the fifth red-rash childhood disease to be identified, is generally a mild illness that most commonly affects preschool and school-age children. It's also sometimes referred to as "slapped cheeks disease" because of the telltale red facial rash that infected children commonly develop.
Adults can get fifth disease, too. It's caused by a virus called parvovirus B19, which inhibits the production of red blood cells. For otherwise healthy adults and children, a temporary halt in the production of new cells isn't a problem because the illness usually doesn't last longer than most of the red blood cells they already have circulating. But for people with chronic anemia (from a condition such as sickle cell disease) or an immune deficiency, and for a relatively small number of unborn babies, the virus can cause serious problems."http://www.babycenter.com/0_fifth-disease-parvovirus-b19-during-pregnancy_1463060.bc
Uh huh! Suspicions confirmed...
May 17 6:46pm Me: I wish you would quit lying to me. Especially since you aren't good at it. I'm not dumb. I didn't believe your lie about finals. And I looked it up and parvo is 5ths disease. Which I know ALL about because S had it when I was pregnant with T. Please stop treating me like I am dumb. Please stop lying to me.
May 17 6:57pm G: I do have my finaly in calculus next saturday. I have a ton of work to do to prepare for it. I am concerned about T and wanted to try to figure out what he has. I may have gotten bad info on the parvo thing. It was second hand info. I am also concerned about S now. Are you sure it is not measels? They always get hfm in their mouths, not on the hands and feet.
May 17 7:30pm Me: I'm positive it is hfm. But if you would like to come take him to the doc then I would be fine with that.
May 17 7:34pm G: k
Monday, May 7, 2012
Another visit followed by a long wait...
After dropping the kids off on Saturday the 28th G said he had an interview on Tuesday and would like to have the kids that night (for the night). So he would pick them up from daycare that day. I agreed not giving much thought until Monday...
Apr 30 2:30pm Me: You're pickig the kids up from daycare tomorrow right?
Apr 30 2:53pm G: yep. I can't get them during nap time right?
Apr 30 2:53pm Me: Correct. After 1pm.
Apr 30 3:34pm Me again: Er... 2pm? The kids usually nap til 2. Do you have money to help pay for the extra daycare this week?
Apr 30 3:36pm G: I was thinking I'd keep them an extra day so there wouldn't be an extra charge.
Apr 30 3:37pm Me: You want them tues - thurs?
Apr 30 3:38 pm G: Yep. You can get them thrusday if you want to see the house or we could meet halfway?
Apr 30 3:55pm Me: OK. I will be sure to pack enough clothes. Let me think about the driving. Considering drive times and dinner.
Tuesday rolls around. G calls to ask why i didn't send T's backpack of clothes and his blankie to school. Ummm, I DID send them, DUH! If the teacher says they aren't there, it means the "lost" them. (When I drop the kids off in the morning I don't drop them off in there rooms, I drop them in the lunch room where they eat breakfast first.)
May 1 2:39pm G: they found them.
May 1 2:39pm Me: Good. Where?
May 1 2:40pm G: a big kids room. they mistook it for someone else's.
May 1 3:14pm Me: T had his doggie and monkey today. Did you get both of those with his backpack and blankie? \
May 1 3:19pm G: yes.
(The animals were with him in his room. How did they make it to his room and not the blankie or backpack?? Oh well, that is a question for the daycare.)
May 2 8:27am G: No panties for S?
May 2 8:29am Me: Ah crap. Nope guess not. They are pretty cheap at Walmart and then you can have some at your house just in case. I was also thinking you should get them swimsuits to keep at your house too.
May 2 8:30am G: I will get both.
May 2 9:28am G: what is S and T's hight and weight for the Mesa fire dept? they are installing seats for me.
May 2 9:30am Me: T 27 lbs (hight not pos) 36 inches? S 29 lbs (hight?) 38 inches?
May 2 10:07am G: thank you. They really emphasized having S buckeled in snuggely. if we both do it she will stop complaining. Who installed your seats?
May 2 10:10am Me: I did. I checked into the fire station but they said I had to come to a seat instilation "event" and they are always mid day durning the week.
May 2 10:13am G: that sucks. I got to make an appt in Mesa to do it whenever woked best for me. he kids got a red and 2 pink fire hats. the seats are in very tight.
May 2 10:14am Me: My big issue lately is both of them (T learned from S) pushing down the chest strap. I am thinking of pinning it in place. We have many arguments over it even though I tell the kids this is never an argument they will win.
May 2 10:17am G: S wasn't able to push hers down and T didn't try after the lady buckeled him in. He was fussing like crazy for me and I couldn't even get him bucled but he was nice and compliant for her.
May 2 10:38am Me: John C Lincoln does appts and I called for an appt.
May 2 10:39 G: awesome. Did they ask you to bring the kids?
May 2 10:39 Me: I left a message.
May 2 2:34pm G: do you buy bikini, brief, or boy short style undies for S?
May 2 3:50pm Me: brief
May 2 3:51pm Me again: and I don't let her wear 2 pice swimsuits unless the top piece is a rashguard (t shirt type)
May 2 6:47pm G: what are their normal bath days?
May 2 6:48pm Me: whatever days I get time
May 3 8:24am Me: I decided it would be better to see the house on a weekend. A 45 minute drive there then a 2 hour drive home just doesn't work on a weeknight. Can you drop the kids off at my work at 4?
May 3 8:26am G: 3 would save me a lot of traffic time but 4 will be okay
May 3 8:26am Me: 3 would be fine. Or 330 would be best.
May 3 8:32am G: 330 is what I will shoot for then. thanks.
May 3 11:37am G: do you let the kids watch Harry Potter?
May 3 11:37am Me: NO (are you freaking kidding me??)
May 3 3:44pm G: here.
When he dropped the kids off he told me his dad was in a car accident and he would be going to his dads the next week to help in his flower shop through Monther's Day since they are so busy. He didn't know when he would see the kids again.
May 4 12:08pm Me: were you wanting to see the kids before you leave town?
May 4 2:34pm G: I am working on my schedule.
Haven't heard from him since. I figure I will text him later in the week and ask him about money. I will try to time my text for when he is with his parents. ;-)
Apr 30 2:30pm Me: You're pickig the kids up from daycare tomorrow right?
Apr 30 2:53pm G: yep. I can't get them during nap time right?
Apr 30 2:53pm Me: Correct. After 1pm.
Apr 30 3:34pm Me again: Er... 2pm? The kids usually nap til 2. Do you have money to help pay for the extra daycare this week?
Apr 30 3:36pm G: I was thinking I'd keep them an extra day so there wouldn't be an extra charge.
Apr 30 3:37pm Me: You want them tues - thurs?
Apr 30 3:38 pm G: Yep. You can get them thrusday if you want to see the house or we could meet halfway?
Apr 30 3:55pm Me: OK. I will be sure to pack enough clothes. Let me think about the driving. Considering drive times and dinner.
Tuesday rolls around. G calls to ask why i didn't send T's backpack of clothes and his blankie to school. Ummm, I DID send them, DUH! If the teacher says they aren't there, it means the "lost" them. (When I drop the kids off in the morning I don't drop them off in there rooms, I drop them in the lunch room where they eat breakfast first.)
May 1 2:39pm G: they found them.
May 1 2:39pm Me: Good. Where?
May 1 2:40pm G: a big kids room. they mistook it for someone else's.
May 1 3:14pm Me: T had his doggie and monkey today. Did you get both of those with his backpack and blankie? \
May 1 3:19pm G: yes.
(The animals were with him in his room. How did they make it to his room and not the blankie or backpack?? Oh well, that is a question for the daycare.)
May 2 8:27am G: No panties for S?
May 2 8:29am Me: Ah crap. Nope guess not. They are pretty cheap at Walmart and then you can have some at your house just in case. I was also thinking you should get them swimsuits to keep at your house too.
May 2 8:30am G: I will get both.
May 2 9:28am G: what is S and T's hight and weight for the Mesa fire dept? they are installing seats for me.
May 2 9:30am Me: T 27 lbs (hight not pos) 36 inches? S 29 lbs (hight?) 38 inches?
May 2 10:07am G: thank you. They really emphasized having S buckeled in snuggely. if we both do it she will stop complaining. Who installed your seats?
May 2 10:10am Me: I did. I checked into the fire station but they said I had to come to a seat instilation "event" and they are always mid day durning the week.
May 2 10:13am G: that sucks. I got to make an appt in Mesa to do it whenever woked best for me. he kids got a red and 2 pink fire hats. the seats are in very tight.
May 2 10:14am Me: My big issue lately is both of them (T learned from S) pushing down the chest strap. I am thinking of pinning it in place. We have many arguments over it even though I tell the kids this is never an argument they will win.
May 2 10:17am G: S wasn't able to push hers down and T didn't try after the lady buckeled him in. He was fussing like crazy for me and I couldn't even get him bucled but he was nice and compliant for her.
May 2 10:38am Me: John C Lincoln does appts and I called for an appt.
May 2 10:39 G: awesome. Did they ask you to bring the kids?
May 2 10:39 Me: I left a message.
May 2 2:34pm G: do you buy bikini, brief, or boy short style undies for S?
May 2 3:50pm Me: brief
May 2 3:51pm Me again: and I don't let her wear 2 pice swimsuits unless the top piece is a rashguard (t shirt type)
May 2 6:47pm G: what are their normal bath days?
May 2 6:48pm Me: whatever days I get time
May 3 8:24am Me: I decided it would be better to see the house on a weekend. A 45 minute drive there then a 2 hour drive home just doesn't work on a weeknight. Can you drop the kids off at my work at 4?
May 3 8:26am G: 3 would save me a lot of traffic time but 4 will be okay
May 3 8:26am Me: 3 would be fine. Or 330 would be best.
May 3 8:32am G: 330 is what I will shoot for then. thanks.
May 3 11:37am G: do you let the kids watch Harry Potter?
May 3 11:37am Me: NO (are you freaking kidding me??)
May 3 3:44pm G: here.
When he dropped the kids off he told me his dad was in a car accident and he would be going to his dads the next week to help in his flower shop through Monther's Day since they are so busy. He didn't know when he would see the kids again.
May 4 12:08pm Me: were you wanting to see the kids before you leave town?
May 4 2:34pm G: I am working on my schedule.
Haven't heard from him since. I figure I will text him later in the week and ask him about money. I will try to time my text for when he is with his parents. ;-)
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
The End of April
George saw the kids on Sunday night/Monday before we flew out for PA on Tuesday 4/10. He hasn't seen them since. He informed me he had rented a house and would be moving to Mesa while we were in PA.
Apr 18 8:23am Me: Home safe
April 18th: I emailed a couple pics from vacation
Apr 21 8:44am Me: (video of T - after showing me the magnent of G from his calendar several times and asking where is daddy I decided to video tape T with the magnet. I then sent it to G. I tried to upload the video but was unsuccessful. I will try again later when I can fool with it but I am not sure if blogger supports videos.)
Apr 21 9:15am G: give S and T hugs for me please (attached was a video he took of himself sending them love and saying he would see them Monday, Tuesday, or possibly Wednesday.)
Apr 21 9:34am Me: were you going to set up visitation so they know when they will see you?
He called Sunday night. He talked to each of the kids briefly then talked to me. Said he thinks he will get the kids from daycare Wednesday and keep them until Friday or possibly Saturday. The kids were behaving badly and I was having a hard time talking to him and had a few things I wanted to discuss so I said I would call him after bedtime. I called at 8ish and he said they were eating dinner so I told him I would email him.
Apr 23 7:11pm G: kids visit is going to have to be weds.
Apr 23 7:21pm Me: only weds?
Apr 23 7:22pm G: no. weds thru friday afternoon or saturday morning
Apr 23 7:23pm Me: ok. I was planning on wed thru sat morning didn't know there was the poss of something different. Can you pick them up wed morning?
Apr 23 7:26pm G: weds from daycare or you
Apr 23 7:26pm Me: or me?
Apr 23 7:32pm G: we will get them from day care
Apr 25 3:33pm G: at DES in Mesa. Been here 90+ minutes. still haven't been called up. will go pick up the kids as soon as I am done here.
Apr 25 3:38pm Me: Does this mean I need to get the kidss from daycare? I have plans tonight so I need to know as soon as you figure it out so I can cxl. But if you can make it then please do. They are expecting you and will be upset if I get them.
Apr 25 3:39pm G: being seen right now
Apr 25 3:52pm G: omw to get the kids
Apr 25 8:10pm Me: How were the kids this evening?
Apr 25 8:13 G: we are still getting settled
Apr 25 8:13pm Me: tough night?
Apr 25 8:16pm G: just getting home a little late and excited dogs and such
Apr 26 10:19am G: why does S think her shoes go on with Dora on the inside?
Apr 26 10:20am Me: I don't know. She is usually great at knowing. Maybe just exerting independence?? Being silly??
Apr 27 12:06pm G: what time tomorrow morning?
Apr 27 12:15pm Me: What are you thinking? 10am?
Apr 27 12:18pm G: I was thinking 10:30 or 11.
Apr 27 12:19pm Me: ok sounds good.
Apr 18 8:23am Me: Home safe
April 18th: I emailed a couple pics from vacation
Apr 21 8:44am Me: (video of T - after showing me the magnent of G from his calendar several times and asking where is daddy I decided to video tape T with the magnet. I then sent it to G. I tried to upload the video but was unsuccessful. I will try again later when I can fool with it but I am not sure if blogger supports videos.)
Apr 21 9:15am G: give S and T hugs for me please (attached was a video he took of himself sending them love and saying he would see them Monday, Tuesday, or possibly Wednesday.)
Apr 21 9:34am Me: were you going to set up visitation so they know when they will see you?
He called Sunday night. He talked to each of the kids briefly then talked to me. Said he thinks he will get the kids from daycare Wednesday and keep them until Friday or possibly Saturday. The kids were behaving badly and I was having a hard time talking to him and had a few things I wanted to discuss so I said I would call him after bedtime. I called at 8ish and he said they were eating dinner so I told him I would email him.
On Sun, Apr 22, 2012 at 8:38 PM, A wrote:
I would like to set up a schedule of parenting time. Most parenting time is set days but due to your schedule at CV we had a flexable one that is pretty unorthadox. So now you have moved and are getting more settled. I understand you don't have a job right now but you can easily schedule interviews around your parenting time just like you would do if you had a job and were looking for a new one. But we all need a more scheduled life. The kids need to know when they will see you. And I would like to know what I am doing from one week to the next. Also, you have talked about signing S up for classes and I have thought about it too but it is hard to schedule anything if I don't know if she will be there or here. I especially want the kids to get into swim classes as soon as they open up. That is goal #1. Then a tumbling class would be great for them as well.So if we could set up a regular schedule. Like, you always have them Monday nights. And every other week Tuesday and Wednesday nights. OR any other night. That would benifit us all. And then when you do get a job we can change it to be whatever fits in with your job. I just want to get off of this ever changing schedule. It sucks. All around.Also, I wanted to update about the child support. I have a case with DES now so the new Atlas number is ----------. This should make it so you are able to make payments online until you get a job and have the auto deduct started again. Are you able to make any payments?Lastly, have you called The Bank about a voluntary surrender? With you living outside the house now we are subject to penilties of repayment of the 1st time home buyer credt. Also, I recently received several notices from the HOA for weed violations and this would relieve any obligations of the HOA as well.Thanks,A
Another email from me the next day:
On Mon, Apr 23, 2012 at 3:46 PM, A wrote:
On Mon, Apr 23, 2012 at 3:46 PM, A wrote:
The state took the back taxes that were designated to you in the divorce out of my tax refund. Please see the attached. You owe me $563.33 for payment of these back taxes.Attachement: Official Gov. letter
Apr 23 7:11pm G: kids visit is going to have to be weds.
Apr 23 7:21pm Me: only weds?
Apr 23 7:22pm G: no. weds thru friday afternoon or saturday morning
Apr 23 7:23pm Me: ok. I was planning on wed thru sat morning didn't know there was the poss of something different. Can you pick them up wed morning?
Apr 23 7:26pm G: weds from daycare or you
Apr 23 7:26pm Me: or me?
Apr 23 7:32pm G: we will get them from day care
Apr 25 3:33pm G: at DES in Mesa. Been here 90+ minutes. still haven't been called up. will go pick up the kids as soon as I am done here.
Apr 25 3:38pm Me: Does this mean I need to get the kidss from daycare? I have plans tonight so I need to know as soon as you figure it out so I can cxl. But if you can make it then please do. They are expecting you and will be upset if I get them.
Apr 25 3:39pm G: being seen right now
Apr 25 3:52pm G: omw to get the kids
Apr 25 8:10pm Me: How were the kids this evening?
Apr 25 8:13 G: we are still getting settled
Apr 25 8:13pm Me: tough night?
Apr 25 8:16pm G: just getting home a little late and excited dogs and such
Apr 26 10:19am G: why does S think her shoes go on with Dora on the inside?
Apr 26 10:20am Me: I don't know. She is usually great at knowing. Maybe just exerting independence?? Being silly??
Apr 27 12:06pm G: what time tomorrow morning?
Apr 27 12:15pm Me: What are you thinking? 10am?
Apr 27 12:18pm G: I was thinking 10:30 or 11.
Apr 27 12:19pm Me: ok sounds good.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
The House that wont go AWAY
From: B
Sent: Tuesday, April 03, 2012 5:07 PM
To: G; A
Sent: Tuesday, April 03, 2012 5:07 PM
To: G; A
Subject: Re: Short Sale Package - address
Importance: High
Hi G and A,
Several months ago I discussed a potential short sale with you of your home on **th Lane. I have been tracking your home and noticed that the foreclosure auction that was scheduled to take place at the end of February was cancelled quite some time ago. I am curious if you are still interested in pursuing the short sale option and, if so, would you like to discuss this option in further detail this week?
I look forward to your response,
B
From: G
Sent: Tuesday, April 03, 2012 8:00 PM
To: G; A
To: G; A
Subject: RE: Short Sale Package - address
I think we should do that. The sale was postponed to 3/27. On 3/26 the sale was canceled. The title company said the foreclosure process had to be restarted for some reason I didn’t understand. I will be moving next week. What needs to be done to start the process?
From: B
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 8:49 AM
To: G; A
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 8:49 AM
To: G; A
Subject: Re: Short Sale Package - address
Hi G,
I am not sure why the sale was canceled, but the title company is correct. Once a sale is canceled it must be restarted which resets the 90 day clock. This is a unique opportunity for you to complete the short sale now.
In order to start the process we'd need the short sale package completed by both you and A. I will resend the package in a separate email. Do you think that you can complete the short sale paperwork and send it back to my team within the next few days?
Thanks, B
From: B
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 8:55 AM
To: A; G
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 8:55 AM
To: A; G
Subject: Short Sale Package
Importance: High
Importance: High
Hi G and A,
Per my last email, please see the attached short sale paperwork. Attached are an Items Request List, Authorization Form, Financial Analysis Form, Short Sale Disclosure, Information Form, and 2 Example Hardship Letters. Please complete the documents and send them over to me via email or fax at 877.***-****. Once we have the SS paperwork it is at that time that my team will list the home for sale and begin its marketing.
I look forward to working with you!
Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns. If you'd like to discuss the process further please let me know and we can schedule a call whenever is most convenient for you.
B
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 9:17 AM
To: B
To: B
Cc: G
Subject: RE: Short Sale Package - address
B,
You talk about opportunity but I am not sure that this would be that. Frankly I am pissed the house didn’t foreclose. Here are my issues and questions:
The HOA hasn’t been paid. It has been racking up fees and legal fees. Yes, this debt was assigned to G in the divorce but companies don’t care and will hold both parties responsible. I filed for bankruptcy back in November. I am protected on all HOA charges up until then but anything after that I am held responsible. The longer the house takes to sell or foreclose the longer they will rack up these fees. It is my understanding that banks would rather short sell a house at this point. Which would take longer than the 90 days. Frankly I don’t want the house for the next 90 days but I am screwed with that aren’t I??
Another guess on my part but also from what I have read, if we sell the house we are responsible to pay back the First time home buyer credit of $8,000 that we received. That is regular sale or short sale. However, if the house forecloses we do not have to pay that back. I would rather not owe the government $8K.
I don’t think a short sale is beneficial at this time. The reason to do a short sale is to protect credit. We have 14 months of non-payment. We have other accounts that are hitting late on credit. I have a repo and a BK on my credit as well. Frankly I don’t think a foreclosure is that much more. My credit is shot anyway. I would rather the house foreclose, HOPEFULLY ASAP but I figure I am dreaming on that one. I just want this house out of my life and ALL financial ties to my ex gone.
A
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 10:52 AM
To: G
To: G
Subject: FW: Here is from the IRS website
Importance: High
Importance: High
FYI
A
From: Mom
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 9:49 AM
To: A
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 9:49 AM
To: A
Subject: Here is from the IRS website
Importance: High
Importance: High
Sorry about the bad news in this email honey.. I went to the IRS site to make sure I got the best info. It doesn’t seem to matter if it is short sale or foreclosure (see the last two sentences).. the risk comes from George moving out and it no longer being either yours or his principal residence.
As I read it… if George moves out, he could put the tax credit at risk for collection. It states that if it is no longer your main home, the full amount of the tax credit is due in that calendar year that ‘You no longer live in the home for the greater number of nights in a year’. So if he moves out and gets a new main residence on April 7 (as an example) he will have lived in the house for 98 days… If the house does not foreclose or sell by approximately July 14, then you will both owe the $8000 tax payment back due to no longer having this house as your main house for a greater period this year. The moving out and not living in the house would be the repayment trigger instead of the foreclosure or short sale being the trigger for repayment. There is nothing about a capitol gain or anything if you are no longer using the residence as your main home.
If the house is short saled, or foreclosed, then that will become the trigger for repayment of the taxes. If the foreclosure or short sale of the house is the trigger for repayment, the taxes due are only based on the amount that the house sells for that is over the amount that is owed. So you are both protected from having to pay the taxes if George stays in the house because it will never be worth more than you owe on it (even after calculating the gain/loss basis as it states in the last sentence here).
Q. When must I pay back the credit for the home I purchased in 2009?
A. Generally, there is no requirement to pay back the credit for a principal residence purchased in 2009 or early 2010. The obligation to repay the credit arises only if the home ceases to be your principal residence within 36 months from the date of purchase. The full amount of the credit received becomes due on the return for the year the home ceased being your principal residence.
Q. If I claim the first-time homebuyer credit for a purchase in 2009 or early 2010 and stop using the property as my principal residence before the 36 month period expires after I purchase, how is the credit repaid and how long would I have to repay it?
A. If, within 36 months of the date of purchase, the property is no longer used as your principal residence, you are required to repay the credit. Repayment of the full amount of the credit is due at the time the income tax return for the year the home ceased to be your principal residence is due. The full amount of the credit is reflected as additional tax on that year's tax return. Form 5405 and its instructions will be revised for tax year 2009 to include information about repayment of the credit.
Q. When does my home stop being my main home?
A. Here are examples of when your home stops being your main home:
You sell the home.
You transfer the home to a spouse or former spouse in a divorce settlement.
You convert the entire home to a rental or business property.
You converted the home to a vacation or second home.
You no longer live in the home for the greater number of nights in a year.
Your home is destroyed or condemned.
You lose your home in foreclosure.
You die. (1/6/11)
Q. When do I have to repay the credit?
A. You repay the full or part of the credit as an additional tax on your tax return when the home stops being your main home during the 36-month period following the date you purchased your home.
You must repay the full credit when:
You sold your main home to a related person or entity
Your home is destroyed, condemned or disposed of under threat of condemnation and you do not purchase or rebuild a replacement home within two years.
You converted the entire home to a rental or business property.
You converted the home to a vacation or second home.
You no longer live in the home for the greater number of nights in a year.
You may have to repay the full or a part of the credit when:
You sold your main home to a non-related person or entity. You repay the amount of the credit up to the amount of your capital gain. Note: when calculating gain or loss on your main home if you received the first-time homebuyer credit, you reduce your basis by the amount of the credit. See Publication 551, Basis of Assets, for more information.
You lost your home in a foreclosure.You must repay the credit only up to the amount of gain. (1/6/11)
From: G
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 12:40 PM
To: A
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 12:40 PM
To: A
Subject: RE: Here is from the IRS website
Well I certainly don’t want to incur a huge tax liability for moving out. Regardless, the house stopped being your main residence in our divorce; you should look into that. It seems as if a short sale or foreclosure is the way to go because it limits our liability. This is year 3. “You no longer live in the home for the greater number of nights in a year.” The way I read it means you are not in the home for the greater number of nights of the year i.e. you must live in the house more than half the year, so it’s good that the house didn’t foreclose because we will have essentially had the house for 3 years. “Generally, there is no requirement to pay back the credit for a principal residence purchased in 2009 or early 2010. The obligation to repay the credit arises only if the home ceases to be your principal residence within 36 months from the date of purchase”. The way I read that means we need to have the house as long as possible.
There are 3 ways to avoid the penalty:
In the house 36 months. We need clarification on whether on the greater number of nights for the 3rd year would count.
Foreclosure sale for less than $110-120k
Short sale for less than 110-120k.
I don’t care how we avoid it but we do need to avoid the tax credit penalty. What are your thoughts?
From: G
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 12:43 PM
To: A
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 12:43 PM
To: A
Subject: RE: Here is from the IRS website
Here is the clause to short sale that keeps our liability low if it sells for less than $120k
You sold your main home to a non-related person or entity. You repay the amount of the credit up to the amount of your capital gain. Note: when calculating gain or loss on your main home if you received the first-time homebuyer credit, you reduce your basis by the amount of the credit. See Publication 551, Basis of Assets, for more information.
You lost your home in a foreclosure.You must repay the credit only up to the amount of gain. (1/6/11)
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 1:07 PM
To: G
To: G
Subject: RE: Here is from the IRS website
I don’t care how the house goes as long as it goes sooner rather than later. I want it done and over with. Especially with the HOA fees racking up.
A
From: G
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 1:42 PM
To: A
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 1:42 PM
To: A
Subject: RE: Here is from the IRS website
The HOA stopped sending me stuff just like everyone else when you filed your bk. What will happen if I send Chase the keys?
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 1:44 PM
To: G
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 1:44 PM
To: G
Subject: RE: Here is from the IRS website
You would have to call chase to find out. Call the main number and ask for the number to surrender the house. They have some special number for that. I didn’t keep it because I obviously can’t surrender the house and I wasn’t sure if you would.
From: B
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 8:52 PM
To: A
Cc: G
Subject: Re: Short Sale Package
Hi A,
I am very sorry for the delayed response. I have been all over the place today and wanted to make sure I had the time to thoroughly address your points/questions…
You are stuck with the home for AT LEAST the next 90 days. The big question, of course, is when will the bank reinitiate the foreclosure process? It could be as soon as tomorrow and it can be as late as they'd like it to be. As strange as it may sound, it is my opinion that the short sale will actually expedite the home's sale (and subsequent removal from your credit/name) as opposed to prolong the process. Homes are selling very quickly right now and I would expect a contract on your home in the first couple of days or weeks. The negotiation process should not take us longer than 45-60 days at most. And then the buyer will need to close in 3 to 4 weeks per the bank's instructions. Therefore, it is very feasible for us to have this short sale completed in 2-3 months. This will provide you with the finality you desire.
As far as the HOA goes, please know that the past due HOA balance survives foreclosure and there's a high likelihood that the HOA will attempt to recover the balance at some point. Depend on the size of the HOA balance, there is a very good chance that we can get this balance wrapped into the short sale and the costs covered by your lender. I cannot guarantee this but I am comfortable in sharing with you that we've had a great deal of success in getting banks to pay HOA balances as of late. I expect this trend to continue.
Yes, it sounds as though your credit is dinged. Foreclosure, with respect to the number of points it will hit your credit, will not make that substantial an impact in my opinion. But it will stay on your credit for a longer period of time than all other damage that you mentioned. That said, anytime you go to attain financing down the road (call it 4, 5, or 6 years from now) you will have to state that you have been through foreclosure. Though I believe your credit score will have rebounded by this time, there will still be an adverse affect on your interest rate, down payment, etc. as a result of the required reporting.
With respect to the tax credit repayment, it is my understanding that if you purchased post 2008 (and received the credit) then you do not have to repay the credit if the home was your principal residence for 3 years. I believe that you met this criteria but I am not sure. I will contact my tax attorney on this matter and get his quick opinion on it.
Hopefully this helps. Please let me know if there's anything else that you'd like for me to address.
Thanks, B
From: A
Date: Thu, 5 Apr 2012 10:46:33 -0400
To: B
Cc: G
Subject: RE: Short Sale Package -
Actually we won’t be at 3 years until December of this year. As George is looking at moving soon this could hurt us since it won’t be 3 years. He is looking into deed in lieu of foreclosure and just turning the keys over to be done with everything.
A
From: B
Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 9:15 AM
To: A
Cc: G
Subject: Re: Short Sale Package
2 thoughts – first, I am waiting to hear back from my tax attorney on the tax credit but I feel as though there must be a solution to this. I will get back to you on it ASAP. Next, do you have a 2nd loan on the property? If you do then a deed in lieu is not possible. But if you don't there is a chance that the bank would consider it. This may be a good option for you as it could be the quickest solution (though, for credit purposes, it is pretty much treated the same as foreclosure).
I will be back in touch ASAP.
Sent: Wednesday, April 04, 2012 8:52 PM
To: A
Cc: G
Subject: Re: Short Sale Package
Hi A,
I am very sorry for the delayed response. I have been all over the place today and wanted to make sure I had the time to thoroughly address your points/questions…
You are stuck with the home for AT LEAST the next 90 days. The big question, of course, is when will the bank reinitiate the foreclosure process? It could be as soon as tomorrow and it can be as late as they'd like it to be. As strange as it may sound, it is my opinion that the short sale will actually expedite the home's sale (and subsequent removal from your credit/name) as opposed to prolong the process. Homes are selling very quickly right now and I would expect a contract on your home in the first couple of days or weeks. The negotiation process should not take us longer than 45-60 days at most. And then the buyer will need to close in 3 to 4 weeks per the bank's instructions. Therefore, it is very feasible for us to have this short sale completed in 2-3 months. This will provide you with the finality you desire.
As far as the HOA goes, please know that the past due HOA balance survives foreclosure and there's a high likelihood that the HOA will attempt to recover the balance at some point. Depend on the size of the HOA balance, there is a very good chance that we can get this balance wrapped into the short sale and the costs covered by your lender. I cannot guarantee this but I am comfortable in sharing with you that we've had a great deal of success in getting banks to pay HOA balances as of late. I expect this trend to continue.
Yes, it sounds as though your credit is dinged. Foreclosure, with respect to the number of points it will hit your credit, will not make that substantial an impact in my opinion. But it will stay on your credit for a longer period of time than all other damage that you mentioned. That said, anytime you go to attain financing down the road (call it 4, 5, or 6 years from now) you will have to state that you have been through foreclosure. Though I believe your credit score will have rebounded by this time, there will still be an adverse affect on your interest rate, down payment, etc. as a result of the required reporting.
With respect to the tax credit repayment, it is my understanding that if you purchased post 2008 (and received the credit) then you do not have to repay the credit if the home was your principal residence for 3 years. I believe that you met this criteria but I am not sure. I will contact my tax attorney on this matter and get his quick opinion on it.
Hopefully this helps. Please let me know if there's anything else that you'd like for me to address.
Thanks, B
From: A
Date: Thu, 5 Apr 2012 10:46:33 -0400
To: B
Cc: G
Subject: RE: Short Sale Package -
Actually we won’t be at 3 years until December of this year. As George is looking at moving soon this could hurt us since it won’t be 3 years. He is looking into deed in lieu of foreclosure and just turning the keys over to be done with everything.
A
From: B
Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 9:15 AM
To: A
Cc: G
Subject: Re: Short Sale Package
2 thoughts – first, I am waiting to hear back from my tax attorney on the tax credit but I feel as though there must be a solution to this. I will get back to you on it ASAP. Next, do you have a 2nd loan on the property? If you do then a deed in lieu is not possible. But if you don't there is a chance that the bank would consider it. This may be a good option for you as it could be the quickest solution (though, for credit purposes, it is pretty much treated the same as foreclosure).
I will be back in touch ASAP.
B
From: B
Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 12:14 PM
To: A
Cc: G
Subject: Re: Short Sale Package
Hi A and G,
I just got off the line with my tax attorney and he advised that the tax credit must be repaid if a sale occurs prior to living in the home for 3 years…this includes foreclosure. There are a few extenuating circumstances like death, forced job relocation, and a couple of other situations that I do not believe apply to you. The attorney said that the IRS is very unforgiving when it comes to misreporting the credit repayment. I am not quite sure how this impacts your decision but wanted to share this info with you ASAP. If you'd like for me to connect you with my attorney please just let me know.
Thanks, B
From: C
Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 1:07 PM
To: A
Subject: RE: Here is from the IRS website
I still think you are fine. He is forgetting to say that – per the IRS, you are only liable up to the amount that the house sells for that is considered a gain. You will not have a gain on the house.
You may have to repay the full or a part of the credit when:
You sold your main home to a non-related person or entity. You repay the amount of the credit up to the amount of your capital gain. Note: when calculating gain or loss on your main home if you received the first-time homebuyer credit, you reduce your basis by the amount of the credit. See Publication 551, Basis of Assets, for more information.
You lost your home in a foreclosure.You must repay the credit only up to the amount of gain. (1/6/11)
However.. if the IRS finds out that George moved out, then they can trigger the ‘recapture’ of the tax credit. The foreclosure won’t matter at that point since it was triggered by neither of you living there anymore.
From: B
Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 1:45 PM
To: A
Cc: G
Subject: Re: Short Sale Package
Yes, I also caught this. I am not quite what this means and/or if it is being taken out of context. On the instructions to form 5405 (the form used to report the credit repayment) it says the credit must be repaid if the home is sold. It then defines a sale as also including foreclosure but mentions nothing about a "gain". So I do not know what to believe…I have to defer to the tax attorney on this one!
B
From: C
Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 2:16 PM
To: A
Subject: RE: Short Sale Package
Part III of form 5405
Disposition or Change in Use of Main Home for Which the Credit Was Claimed
Enter the date you disposed of, or ceased using as your main home, the home for which you claimed the credit (MM/DD/YYYY) (see instructions)......................
And then a couple of the choices are:
I sold (including through foreclosure) the home to a person who is not related to me and had a gain on the sale (as figured in Part V below). Go to Part IV below.
I sold (including through foreclosure) the home to a person who is not related to me and did not have a gain on the sale (as figured in Part V below). No repayment of the credit is required. Stop here.
I don’t have a lot of trust in B and his tax attorney… it says it right on the form.
From: C
Sent: Thursday, April 05, 2012 2:28 PM
To: A
Subject: RE: Short Sale Package
Hmmm… I see this on the form… which maybe we should have filed with your taxes. I don’t know if it counts since you didn’t quit claim it but it only says that it is in the decree. So maybe.
I transferred the home to my spouse (or ex-spouse as part of my divorce settlement). The full name of my ex-spouse is ▶
The responsibility for repayment of the credit is transferred to your spouse or ex-spouse. Stop here.
http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f5405.pdf
see part III
line e
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